


Fawned

by Winter_Pior



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: 50 shades of grey - tree bros edition, Alternate Universe - College/University, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Collars, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Dom/sub, Fluff and Smut, Kinky, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Marrick!Connor, Masturbation, Petplay, Porn With Plot, Post-Recovery Connor Murphy, Praise Kink, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Safe Sane and Consensual, Smut, Spanking, Sub!Evan, Tree Bros, also coffeeshop au if you squint hard enough, cameos by other musical kids, chubby Evan, deer play, dom!connor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Pior/pseuds/Winter_Pior
Summary: Connor and Evan meet at college through a hook-up app. They expect it to be a one night stand, but after an encounter like that, it's difficult for either to shake the other. Especially for Connor, who's been looking for someone to fill a certain role in his life.Evan always hoped he'd be dear to someone - maybe he should’ve been careful what he’d wished for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for 3k!!!

It wasn't the first time he invited a match from a hook-up app to spend the night in his dorm.

It wasn't the first time he'd taken extra pillows out from the closet to accommodate another on his twin-sized bed.

Condoms and strawberry-flavored lube? Right where they had always been: in the top drawer of his nightstand, still plenty of each to last a few rounds. He kept his toys in the bottom drawer, not as easily accessible. But should his date feel so adventurous -

Connor Murphy sighed as he paced around the room. _His date_. Re-reading the conversation that had persuaded him to swap his typical flannel for a black, wrinkle-free dress shirt, he suspected his toy box might be better unmentioned.

Reasoning: when Connor offered to get them a bottle to drink, he expected the other to answer with a type of wine, or vodka, or champagne -

 

> Sparkling cider.
> 
> You mean hard cider?
> 
> No, like the bubbly kind.

At least he could say it was the first time he'd gotten the stuff for a hook-up.

Not only that - judging by the other's profile on the app, his date seemed very... _Vanilla_. Ash blond hair was styled the same way in every photo: like a Mormon boy ready to go out on his first mission. His wardrobe appeared to be very polo-centric. His face was, of course, young. Round, with pink lips. It was his eyes that caught Connor's attention, though. Brilliant, hazel gems that had him wonder (assuming they weren't highlighted using a filter) what about himself could possibly stand out to a guy like that.

He decided to take a quick glance at his own profile, scratching his head while it occurred to him maybe he should've updated it sooner. In the pictures Connor had posted, his raven hair was short, mostly tame around his square jaw, with bangs swooping just above his brows. At present, however, it had become something of a mullet - feathering out behind his ears and constantly needing to be pushed away from his dull, gray eyes.

If it was some _Edgy Bad Boy_ fantasy his date was after, he'd probably be a better fit in that moment than on his profile. So maybe he assumed the pictures were older? Or maybe, more likely, he'd recently spotted him around campus.

A controlled knock at the door disrupted Connor's train of thought. Discarding his phone to the pocket of his leather pants, he took a deep breath and went to answer. _Showtime_.

A boy, half a foot shorter but a few pounds heavier than him, stood as far away from the door as possible while still being in front of it. Having been biting his nails, he quickly tore the trembling hand away from his mouth to offer a small wave. " _Hi_."

" _Evan_. Hey-" Connor greeted him with an award-winning smile that nearly faltered. The poor guy was beet red, and his smile was strained - like if he wasn't so intent on keeping it up, he might actually _sob_.

Not exactly the signs of someone who had done this before.

Head ducked to hide any doubt, Connor stepped aside to let the other through. "Come on in. You look great."

"Oh. Thank you."

It was an odd choice for the occasion, yet somehow charming: a green striped polo that was a size too small and khakis that seemed of similar fit. Not that Connor saw it as a turnoff; the boy had wide, girlish hips, and those pants did an impressive job accentuating them. Overall, very plush in appearance. Squeezable.

Connor didn't even notice Evan's plumpest feature until he closed the door and turned to find his guest with his back to him, presumably questioning how to proceed. Christ. Bent over, he wondered if those khakis would rip apart on their own.

"You can sit on the bed or the chair-" Connor pointed to his swivel desk chair. "Whichever."

_Or my lap. Or my face. Whichever._

He made himself useful, pouring cider into two champagne glasses, while Evan claimed a seat at the edge of the bed, smoothing his hands along his thighs. That left the chair for Connor; he gave the boy his glass on his way over, sitting with the backrest against his chest.

"I hope I got the right kind-" he commented for conversation's sake. "I thought sparkling cider was just... _y'know_. Sparkling Cider. Turns out there's different flavors."

Evan had taken a sip but covered his mouth immediately, an indignant snort erupting from behind his hand. Badly timed nervous laughter. "It's-" he croaked, struggling to recover. As soon as he did, breathing in deep, he managed another smile at Connor. Faint, but natural. The red in his face had begun to fade. " _It's fine_. Thank you. All flavors are good flavors."

"Well, alright," the host muttered, eyes wide with amusement as he downed half his cider in one gulp. He then gave in to the obvious inclination to ask, "So, do you not drink, or-?"

"I...can't?" Evan's grin widened sheepishly, and he fidgeted in his seat. "I'm not twenty-one yet, so... _No_." When Connor dramatically rolled his eyes, he sputtered, "I don't want to risk it! At least not on campus. Like, I've had wine with my mom before."

"Oooh, we've got a rebel," the raven snickered. He did recall the boy's age being twenty on his profile, and judging by the Everything Else About Him, he should've figured he'd want to play it safe. "Might let the dean know about that."

Evan scoffed, being the one to roll his eyes that time. "Please, I bet you've done much worse-"

 _That_ caught Connor off guard. He blinked in surprise, not sure if he should be insulted or impressed. "Oh yeah?" he tested the boy, a careless lift in his tone, "And what exactly do you think I'm capable of?"

It took his guest a second longer to realize what he'd said, all color draining from his face as he did. "I mean...Not... _Not_ like you're a bad person, just...with the...the drinking..."

"You think I'm some alcoholic?"

"No!"

"Then _what_?"

" _Just-_ " Evan was shaking again, biting his lip as he searched for the right words. Connor knew instantly that he'd made a mistake.

"Wait-"

"Sorry-" It was already too late for the boy to stop himself. "I just...meant that...You've probably done worse than _me_. W-Which is fine! Because I...I don't really do anything at all..? I've never had a one night stand, and I'm like, freaking out, and you're all cool and calm and handsome and offered to get me alcohol, so I'd _assume_ you have experience, but I'm-" He paused only to catch his breath, "I'm really bad at words, so I'm sorry if it sounds like an insult; I promise I don't mean it that way, I...I admire it, actually..."

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose. Closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. It was one thing to guess the other's lack of experience. Another to have it confirmed.

" _I'm sorry_ ," Evan muttered, sounding desperate. "I'm weird, I know but...I-I can shut up if...we..."

"You don't _actually_ want to do this, do you?" Connor tried not to sound so accusatory, but inevitably, the question left the other looking like a kicked puppy. "I don't know - did someone dare you?"

" _What?_ Who... _No!_ I-"

"If you're so anxious, then why'd you come, man?"

"Because-!" Evan's hands covered his face, and judging by his rattling shoulders, Connor guessed he was having some trouble breathing.

_How did you manage this one, Murphy?_

In the silence, he made his way over to the boy, sitting beside him and rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him. It took a few minutes, but soon enough, the boy was slumping to his touch, his breathing steady. "Better..?"

Evan nodded, going so far as to lean into the raven's side. "Thank you."

All Connor could really do was stare, hesitating, before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He was supposed to be His Date tonight, after all.

"I wasn't dared to come here," Evan eventually said, sniffling. He started to crack his knuckles. "The reason is just... _so embarrassing_ \- and pathetic..."

Tilting his head, Connor could spot the blush creeping back to his face. "You weren't dared _and_ you're sober? C'mon. It can't be that bad."

But Evan shook his head. "I want to be touched. _Intimately._ And it's been so _distracting,_ but I don't have anyone close that I can be that way with...Then I found the app, and...You had the kindest face out of anyone, which, I don't know, may not be the best way to choose but..." He trailed off, his fingers twisting at the fabric of his polo. "...I'm sorry. I can leave. It's not your fault-"

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be touched." Connor's voice was barely above a whisper, but it brought the boy's innocent gaze up to him. Wide-eyed. Hopeful, maybe.

He'd never had anyone describe anything about him as 'kind' before.

"I like to be touched too." He reached for one of Evan's sweaty hands, taking it in his own. It was fine. His were always too ashy and dry, anyway. "And right now, I'd like to be touched by you. If it's something you actually want...Yeah. We can try. We don't even have to go like... _all the way_ if you don't want to, we can just...have fun."

That brought an undeniably timid but otherwise cute smile to Evan's lips - one that reflected more promisingly on the raven's.

"We'll take it slow."


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh. You have freckles."

Connor chuckled. They were easy to miss - mere pencil dust on his face. But they were there. Lucky Evan for being close enough to spot them. "You like 'em?"

The boy nodded meekly, trying to keep his focus on the already laborious task of unbuttoning Connor's top. "They're nice," he muttered while hiding a smile. "Pretty."

The last button popped open, and Connor slipped his shirt off the rest of the way, revealing a pale, toned torso. Leaning in, his abdomen pressed right into Evan's palms. "They can't be any prettier than you."

He watched as the blush on the boy's face spread to his ears. "I'm not pretty-"

"I beg to differ."

Evan bit his lip, leaving Connor's abs to trail his fingers along his arms instead. He started at the leather bracelets around his wrists and worked up to his- "Are these tattoos?" From the front, they were indiscernible markings that peaked around his biceps. "Can I see?"

Connor readily turned around, giving Evan the full view on his back: anatomical angel wings that extended from his shoulder blades to just above his elbows.

A soft gasp accompanied the gentle grazing of inked-on feathers. "They're beautiful! The detail is... _amazing_ !"

There was something so genuine in the way it was said that made Connor's heart flutter. "Thank you." He slumped forward, allowing himself to savor the simple touches so foreign to him a little longer before facing Evan again. "My turn?" He tried tugging at the collar of the boy's shirt, but it only made him shrink back.

Matched with the way he suddenly avoided his eyes, Connor would've thought that Evan was having second thoughts. Until he mumbled, "I guess so."

The raven inched closer to where they were hip to hip, bowing his head and brushing his nose against the other's in an attempt to get him to look back. "If you change your mind," he said, hushed, "Speak up."

The glimpse of hazel locking onto him was swift, a half-second, but Evan nodded his understanding. Grateful lips pressed to his cheek, and in the next moment, his polo was off, exposing a bit of a muffin-top as it was dropped to the floor.

"You can guide me," Connor went on, offering up his hands.

Evan took them willingly, playing with his fingers as he seemed to consider where to place them. "Uhm..."

Connor remained patient, undeniably curious. But it did catch him slightly off guard that _he_ would be the one to ask - "Can I, if...it's okay... _Kiss you_?"

The raven-haired tried not to look too amused as he gave a swift nod, eyes closing. It didn't take long for plush lips to press hesitantly against his own, so shy yet enticing that Connor had to remind himself to keep it reeled in. Especially when he felt something soft and warm beneath his palms, and he realized he was cupping Evan's chest.

All it took was a careful test squeeze to get the boy's breath shuddering, chest heaving in some subconscious desire to fill his hands. That only encouraged Connor to continue groping, eventually swiping his thumbs over Evan's nipples, which he was sure elicited a tiny squeak. He quickly repeated the action, rubbing them in circles until they were nice and perky.

Evan _whined_. Whatever reservations he held were clearly fading away to instinct - kiss after kiss, more and more deliberate.

Sensing the boy's lips heedlessly begin to part, Connor's tongue flicked out to fill the space. A whimper, but Evan didn't pull back; rather, he raised a hand to the raven's cheek, holding steady while lapping submissively at his tongue.

For someone who had _'never done this before'_ , he had some clue on how to welcome a guy in.

Connor was so caught up that he barely noticed the other lowering one of his hands to rest against his leg. He expected Evan would leave it there. But he hardly had a chance to map out the area when the boy changed direction. The next thing Connor knew, his hand was trapped between a thick pair of thighs, and Evan was practically jumping from his seat, moaning into the kiss.

He'd placed Connor's palm directly onto his bulge.

 _"_ God _damn-"_ Connor hissed, cupping his package and tracing the outline through his pants. "Starting to think you're not so innocent after all."

"N-No - wait-" Evan whimpered, hips bucking involuntarily into Connor's hand. " _I am._ Just... _Oh_ -" He hid his face in the crook of the other's neck, so hot with embarrassment that the raven could sense it radiating off of him. "Oh my god, that feels good. How does that feel so good?"

Connor cackled, 'easing up' by dragging his fingertips along the zipper. "Geez, you make it sound like you've never been touched at all before."

The boy didn't respond right away - instead circling his arms around Connor's neck and swallowing his own desperate sounds. Finally, when the male was just about to undo his pants, Evan spoke up, "I...haven't. Not like this. Not _there_ ."

Connor froze, and if not for the boy's legs keeping him in a vice, may have retracted his hand altogether. "So - you're a virgin?"

"I'm sorry-"

The corners of Connor's mouth tugged downward, but he figured he shouldn't have been _that surprised._ Still, he sighed. "You really want your first time to be a random hook-up?"

"No, it's not - I don't see it as, uhm-" Evan breathed in, gathering just enough composure to straighten up and meet the other's gaze. "It's just, it's not...really a big deal to me if...I'm not in a relationship? I guess? I don't mind if it's with you. I just want it... _gone_. Done. And I know that's probably really weird and desperate and pathetic but-" He slowly looked down, hands unclasping to rest on broad shoulders. "I'd like it to be with you, if that's okay? And you've been sweet and patient so...I don't really mind if you don't."

The boy must've caught a glimpse of the growing uncertainty in Connor's expression then, abruptly adding, "And I've done my research! I even cleaned down there and everything!"

Connor scoffed at that. At least he wasn't completely clueless. "Research, huh?" Slipping his hand free, he held onto Evan's waist. "So you know we might not actually be able to go all the way."

"I know, but-" The boy's hips tilted forward as if to draw Connor back in. "I'd like to try."

It wasn't that the confession was a turn-off - if anything, the very opposite. But being aware of it gave Connor a sense of responsibility. If he messed it up for Evan that night, he might ruin a future experience for him. Leave him thinking it was something he'd never enjoy. He could regret it the next day and beat himself up for weeks -

Or maybe he was giving himself too much importance.

"If you're sure that's what you want," the raven murmured, giving Evan's bulge one more graze, making him twitch. "Who am I to deny you?" A kiss on the temple, and Connor tugged at the hem of his khakis. "Do you want these off?"

Evan nodded swiftly, albeit gulping.

"Stand up."

The boy shuffled out of Connor's grasp to stand awkwardly in front of him, only to be grabbed by the hips and urged to turn around. He reverted to biting his nails while sturdy arms wrapped around to unfasten his pants, slowly pulling them down along with his boxers.

Connor watched in awe as the curviest ass he'd ever seen on a man escaped the confines of Evan's khakis. Perfectly pear-shaped. He couldn't resist leaning his head forward, peppering a few kisses on one cheek. "Hard to believe I'm the first one to touch you with a body like this," Connor muttered, one hand trailing up his inner leg while the opposite attempted to memorize the curve of his hip.

The boy shivered from the attention, shifting to stand with his legs barely an inch further apart. "Normally, it's the, uhm...Everything else that...turns people off, I think. I don't blame them."

"Hm." Maybe Connor could relate more than he realized. If so, he'd graciously make it his mission to prove how much of a loss it was to anyone else who turned him down. "Another man's treasure-" He grabbed his ass with both hands then, making it jiggle and pulling it apart to expose Evan's little pink pucker. "Fuck, I'd love to bury my face in there."

The boy was beet red all over again as he looked at Connor over his shoulder. "Really..? You want to-?"

"Eat you out? Abso _lutely_."

He seemed to try hiding his blush, raising a hand and covering his cheek. There must have been some deliberation, but inevitably, Evan gave his delayed response - "You can. If you want."

Connor felt himself grinning ear to ear. " _Excellent_." Stealing one more peck on the cheek, he patted on the bed beside him. "On all fours. Get comfortable."

While Evan slipped out of his shoes and obeyed, Connor retrieved the strawberry lube along with a condom from the nightstand. He turned back to see the boy clutching a pillow that he used to rest his chin - his ass, meanwhile, was up in the air.

"If I didn't know any better," Connor chuckled, kneeling behind him to admire his arch. "I'd think you knew exactly what you were doing."

"Oh, uhm...Well, like I said that's the, uhm-" Evan mumbled, twisting the grey and black fabric of the pillowcase. " _Research?_ "

" _Porn_ ," Connor bluntly corrected him. He poured a glob of lube directly onto the boy's pucker, making him gasp and quiver. "You can say you've watched porn."

Once tucking his hair back behind his ears, Connor spread Evan's asscheeks and dug in. All it took was a few careful licks over the rim to have the boy squirming and whining again; just seconds, and he was pressing back against his face.

Connor's eyes shut, allowing him to appreciate the warmth, softness, and desperation of Evan grinding against his face - his tongue lapping hungrily, making every sort of motion to get the best (and loudest) reaction from the other. Easy when he tasted like honey.

 _"Please - oh my god, yes, please-"_ Evan whimpered, his thighs shaking. He sucked in his breath and buried his face into his pillow, muffling a moan that came from Connor dragging his tongue to his balls. Rolling them into his mouth, the raven sucked carefully for a moment before returning to his pucker and sucking there.

Evan's breath hitched in his throat. He reached back, his hand searching for Connor until his fingertips brushed his shoulder. Was he trying to pull him closer? Encourage him on? Connor wasn't sure. But when he took hold, interlocking their fingers at the same time his tongue pressed through the boy's rim, the dove-like coo that followed and squeeze of his hand made him feel like he did something right. Without hesitation, he even started wiggling his tongue around.

_"Connor-"_

"Is that the first thing you've had in your ass, sweetheart? My tongue?" He licked over the hole again, too quick for the boy to enjoy. "Or have you played with yourself before?"

"I... _god_ \- I've...Yeah-" Poor thing. Like he already had to think about catching his breath. "I have a dildo in my room for-" Then, as if having something clicked in his mind- "That - I'm still a virgin even if I've done that, right..?"

"Yes, dear," Connor purred, caressing a cheek. "Unless you've been _physically connected_ to someone else-" Placing a kiss on his pucker, he patted his ass and moved back to find the lube again, this time coating his fingers. "But that should make things a little easier." Connor pressed a single digit against Evan's entrance, and the boy stiffened. "...Are you ready?"

A minute or so passed before his hips gave an enticing little sway, and Evan spoke up, "Go ahead."

Connor smiled warmly, effortlessly sliding in the finger up to his knuckle. He looked on as Evan's nails dug into the pillow, face hidden away while his rim tightened around the finger. "Hey-" The raven kept his voice low, rubbing along the boy's spine to help soothe him. "Don't forget to breathe. Relax."

"I know-" he thought he heard Evan say, "But - you're actually _in_ me."

A chuckle rumbled in Connor's throat, and he slowly began moving the digit in and out. "Just a finger, don't get too excited yet."

Evan nodded, drawing out each exhale until Connor felt he was loose enough to add a second finger. He took his time scissoring the boy - who did not whine unlike a tire losing air - before he was apparently inclined to add, "Sorry if this is w-weird for you."

"Not at all," Connor assured him, giving his ass an appreciative squeeze. "You're doing beautiful. Plus, I've got the best view." With that, he worked in a third digit, temporarily stilling his movement when Evan groaned, the muscle flexing around him. "Is this about the size you're used to?"

"I-I guess so - _Aahh-_ "

As soon as he had the opportunity, Connor pressed in further, fingers writhing within. Seconds later, he started a slow pace of thrusting his hand in and out, aiming a little deeper each time.

The boy below him was nearly panting, hips rocking back and forth, indecisive on how much he wanted to take. But with each thrust came less effort on Connor's part, and soon, his hand was speeding up. The wet noise of it combined with Evan's whimpers - music to his ears.

A minute later, and the boy had decided on pressing back onto the hand, even propping himself with his own palms to get the most of it. _"Fuck-"_ he gasped. "Can I have...m-more?"

" _More_?" Connor slowed to a stop. "You want another finger?"

Evan shook his head, biting his lip. His brows still seemed furrowed with hesitation despite looking over his shoulder, gaze directed somewhere between his ass and Connor's hips. "I want... _you_. All of you. Please? I-I think I'm ready."

The raven sighed, removing his fingers as carefully as he could but still watching the other wince. "Alright. But not like this."

Evan's voice became laced with concern when he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Not from that position." Connor stood up and finished stripping down. When he turned back to Evan, he realized the boy's wide-eyed gaze was fixated directly on his crotch.

"Oh... _Wow_ -"

Connor resisted the urge to roll his eyes, his grin going lop-sided. His wasn't the first reaction of it's kind - although it wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as some others. He just never really understood. To him, it was just a penis, but according to the general consensus, he was 'hung'.

Stepping up to where Evan had his head back on the pillow, he let his erection prod the boy's cheek. "Sure you still want 'all of me'?"

Lips parted, Evan's gaze flickered between looking up at Connor and admiring the cock there in front of him. Then, though, his eyes simply fluttered close, and he tilted his head to kiss along the raven's shaft. A few kitten-like licks earned him a hand in his hair, petting him gently.

When a single kiss was placed on his tip, Connor might've tried to urge himself into his mouth - if not for the boy uttering, _"Please._ "

Sucking in his breath, he patted his head instead. "Sit up."

There was a flash of confusion on Evan's face, but he did so regardless - though technically kneeling.

Connor laid down beside him, his back elevated by the pillows as he reached for the condom, unwrapping and sliding it on. Next, he made another grab for the lube, sufficiently coating his member before placing the bottle on the nightstand.

"Should I-" Evan peeped, already fidgeting. "You want me to...sit on you?"

"You'd have the most control," Connor told him, "Deciding how fast, or...how _hard_ you want to take it."

Evan dipped his head tepidly, but a moment later, he was climbing on top of him, straddling his waist. "I'm sorry in advance for...everything?" he muttered, trying to align his entrance with Connor's tip. He was practically trembling the instant he succeeded. "For...looking or sounding weird, or doing weird things-"

"Oh, _sweetheart_ ," Connor purred, wrapping his fingers around the boy's cock. Strangely, he sort of hiccuped in response, but for Connor, it made him all the more endearing. He pumped his full length while Evan stared down in open-mouth wonder. "Believe me, you have _nothing_ to apologize for."

All the boy could do was nod, licking dry lips and swallowing his breath as he slowly, _carefully,_ lowered himself onto Connor's lap. He'd barely gotten the head all the way in when he leaned over, holding onto the raven's shoulders for balance. "Aah... _Aaahhh-_ "

"It's okay, it's okay," Connor whispered. "No rush, ju - Holy _fuck-_!" He couldn't get the words out in time. In one swift motion, Evan had plunged himself the rest of the way, crying out with him while trapping him in tight heat.

Tears immediately formed in hazel eyes, still shimmering with innocence despite what he'd done. "H-Hurts..."

"I _bet-"_ Connor groaned, gaining a pit of guilt. Though it'd probably feel like heaven if he could get some friction going, he didn't doubt it had to be painful for the other. "Do you need to get off?"

" _No_ ," Evan sniveled, "No." He made an attempt of laying on top of Connor, their chests pressed together, just to hide his face in the raven's neck. Cautiously, he asked, "I didn't ruin it, did I?"

"Not for _me_ -" Connor grunted. He had to hold Evan's hips in place; with his dick already pulsing inside him, _any_ movement felt like a test of willpower. "But what the hell did you do that for, Ev?"

The boy held on tighter, and he could sense his face scrunching up against him. "I thought...The quicker I did it...The less it would hurt?"

Connor puffed a bout of air, not sure if he should scoff or laugh. "It's a dick, not tearing off a bandaid."

Evan whimpered yet another apology, and Connor tried to comfort him by stroking his hair. "It's not your fault," he muttered, "You didn't know."

A sniffle, then - "I mean...I-It's not really something they teach you in high school sex ed."

It threw Connor for such a loop that he _had_ to laugh at that point. Maybe he was just high on his senses, but it helped make the mood a little lighter. "Can you imagine?" he countered, "Being Gay 101, chapter four: how not to kill yourself riding dick."

Evan snorted, lifting his head. " _That's_ chapter four? I might need to look back at the study guide..."

" _Alright_ ." Smile and touch faint, Connor cupped the boy's cheek, keeping him in the moment before he could go too off course. "Why don't we just go back to basic for now?"

Evan's expression reflected his own, and he gave a slight nod.

Their lips connected, and the kiss that followed was even sweeter than first. Both were grinning into it, noses occasionally bumping - hands delicately grazing faces and combing through hair. It wasn't long after that Evan started rocking forward, his dick rubbing up against Connor's stomach. He arched as a hand reached down to continue languidly pumping him, only breaking the kiss to let out a quiet moan. "That feels so good...Better than doing it myself."

"Yeah?" Connor hummed. The boy's walls were squeezing generously around him with each sway, so he'd gently squeeze his cock in return. "Mm, bet it doesn't feel as good as you do though."

Evan giggled, turning a lovely shade of pink. "Well, you definitely feel, uhm... _Big_ ."

"Uncomfortable, or-?"

"No-" The boy shook his head. "It's... _nice_ , actually. Like I'm full. In a good way." He sat up in Connor's lap, breath hitching once again as he poked around his belly button. "Like it's all the way up here."

"Could be," said Connor. "But do you know what would make it feel even better?"

"Moving..?" The word was hesitant, gripped in apprehension before Evan evidently to decide to do just that. Connor rested his unoccupied hand on a thigh - which quivered like the bow of an inexperienced archer - as the boy tentatively began riding his cock.

While hazel eyes fluttered open and close, plush lips bitten and pursing to stifle moans, Connor remained captivated. The hand on Evan's dick sped up, persuading the boy to quicken his own motion until he was nearly bouncing in the raven's lap.

With the way his ass clapped against him, accompanied by gradually shameless mewling, he was proving himself to be a natural. And whether Evan realized it or not, his squirming in a desperate attempt at finding the perfect angle seemed almost hell-bent on milking Connor for everything he was worth.

In an instance overwhelmed by sheer bliss, the raven hissed, unthinking, _"You're a fucking keeper."_ He thrusted sharply upward as Evan sunk down, and the boy's eyes flew right open.

" _Fuck!_ " He cried out, all high pitched. "Again! _Please!"_

 _"Again?"_ Connor abandoned his cock then to sink his nails into supple hips, guiding him down each time he continued to thrust . "Right there? Is that it, sweetheart?"

"Yes! Ooohmy _god_ -" Tears were returning to his eyes, the poor boy shaking like a leaf. His whimpers were incessant at that point, and he was panting heavily for air, coming completely undone. When his tongue started lolling out, Connor couldn't resist giving it a lick - which was the exact moment Evan jolted, bumping his forehead against the other's. "S-Sorry - Feel... _close!_ "

But Connor could only chuckle. "You wanna cum?" No denying he was near his own limit with how _deliciously_ _tight_ Evan was getting again. He doubled his efforts, aiming for that One Spot repeatedly, making the boy throw his arms around his neck and moan helplessly into his ear. "Cum for me, Ev. Show me how good it feels to finally be _fucked_." For extra measure, Connor returned a hand to his dick, wringing along his shaft and rubbing over the tip.

"So good!" Evan whined, tears and sweat slicking the other's neck. "I'm gonna cum! _I'm gonna cum!_ "

Connor was relentless in jerking him off while the boy bounced desperately against him. Finally, Evan locked up, practically shouting his pleasure as he unloaded onto the raven's hand and stomach.

" _Good boy_ ," Connor purred. "Good, _good_ boy."

 


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't remember the bed feeling as soft as it did when he was on all fours. In that moment, though, it felt like cozying up on a cloud.

Wrapped up in a black blanket, Evan watched as Connor came back from the bathroom separating his dorm from another. He had a damp washcloth in his hand and that warm smile on his face - one that almost seemed to belong to a different person entirely, compared to the wolf that had been grinning up at him minutes ago.

He sat gingerly at the edge of the bed, pressing the cloth to the boy's forehead and sweeping it down the side of his face.

It was cool to the touch, and Evan tilted his head to get the most of it. "Thank you," he whispered, "This is really nice of you."

Connor bent down, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Seeing as you've given me just about everything-" He proceeded by wiping the sweat from the boy's chest. "It's the least I can do." Next, he pulled back the blanket, gesturing with the rag below Evan's waist. "May I..?"

The boy nodded, heart skipping beats as he was exposed once again. His legs spread to be more accessible, and he shivered while Connor cleaned lube off his thighs and asshole. It must've been a bit of a mess, judging by the time the other took.

He didn't pause until he - accidentally or otherwise - added pressure when cupping Evan's balls, making the boy gasp.

There was a hint of concern in Connor's teasing tone when he asked, "Still sensitive?" His hand didn't move an inch.

Evan gulped and chewed at his lower lip, struggling not to squirm _or_ think how he'd let Connor do whatever he pleased with his body, if he wanted. But that was wishful thinking, probably. So the boy merely said, "I'm fine. Just that it's... _cold_."

Connor hummed and finished the task with a quick swipe up Evan's shaft.

It took all of the boy's remaining willpower _not_ to buck his hips into that rag.

"Should be all good to go," said Connor, draping the blanket over the other once again before getting to his feet.

Evan's brows furrowed, and he rolled onto his side while watching him grab two water bottles from the fridge. ' _Go_ '..? He supposed it did make sense. Since he'd Fulfilled His Purpose, there really wasn't any need for him to stick around. Still, his fingers curled into the blanket.

By the time Connor turned back to him, he'd be sitting upright, wincing as he slowly pulled his boxers and pants on. "You're gonna sleep in those?"

 _Sleep?_ Evan paused, almost too hesitant to look at the other handing him his bottle. "You said..." He cleared his throat, trying to make himself somewhat comprehensible, "I was 'good to go'. So I'm...going?"

Connor's expression was becoming increasingly difficult to read, prompting Evan to take the water bottle and scramble for his shirt to avoid his stare. "- _No_ , I didn't mean _right_ now. You can sleepover, I'm not kicking you out."

Unfortunately, those words didn't fully register until Evan was completely dressed, standing away from the bed. As tempting as it was, he'd already managed to convince himself that the moment was up. If he continued to act in a rush, he could leave without it tugging at his heart. Or, that was what he told himself.

"Thank you, but...I really should go." He figured there was time to pause in front of the other - seeing as he stood between him and the door anyway. Sweeping Connor's pants off the floor, Evan handed them to him with a smile. "This was...fun. For... _me_ at least, but I really hope it was for you too because - because _you_ were really good, and really, _really_ sweet, and it wasn't what I was expecting, but it was like, _so much better_! So-" The boy paused to catch his breath, realizing, in that moment, that the taller male was looking at him, perhaps - fondly? There was something sad -- _maybe -_ in those gray eyes, though. But then, Evan thought, he was likely projecting.

"Just - _Thank you_. For everything." Standing on his toes, he pecked Connor on the cheek and tried to move around him.

He'd almost made it out the door when the other's voice stopped him. "You don't have to be a stranger," Connor said, in the process of dressing himself. "If you see me around, say hi, or... _y'know_. You can still message me whenever. If you feel like you need more _practice_ -" He looked him over and shrugged.

" _I'll-_ " Evan held onto the doorknob, sort of shifting on his feet. Shit. Was he already inviting him _back_ -? "I'll _think about it_. But thank you. Again. Goodnight, Connor." A flash of a nervous smile, and he was gone.

 

He supposed this was the fabled Walk of Shame - the trip back to his own dorm building where he was meant to reflect and feel guilt or regret for what had taken place. In reality, there were a few times he found himself trying to rub away a grin at the fresh memory.

It would've been one thing for Connor to toss him out the second they were done, and maybe a part of him expected that, based on what little he knew about Hook Up Culture. But cleaning him off afterwards? Implying they could meet again..? He had to wonder if perhaps it wasn’t so uncommon, after all. If so, he might be able to develop a sort of appreciation for those relationships.

His mind spinning from one thought to the next, he arrived at his dorm nearly 15 minutes later, greeted by darkness. There was a single light - the glow of a laptop screen illuminating a pale face framed by the most unironically dorky glasses imaginable.

"Did you move at _all_ today?" Evan huffed, flicking on the light switch.

The other boy in the room groaned from his bed, immediately rubbing at his eyes. "Who are you - my mom?"

Evan rolled his eyes, but bounded over to the brunet, stationing himself directly behind the laptop. "I might as well be if I have to keep looking out for you like this."

" _Right_ ," that small boy scoffed, "So be a good mom and be proud of me for trying to get this friggin' paper done." He almost turned his attention back to Said Assignment, but when Evan didn't budge, raised a brow at him instead. " _What_?"

He couldn't prevent the triumphant smile spreading across his face, though maybe he was a little too eager by jutting a hand out to him over the laptop. It would have been better to address it another time, probably, but after all that had happened, he was feeling daring. Who knew when that would happen again. "$100, Jared."

Jared snorted, his expression stuck between confusion and annoyance.

Evan persisted, "Our deal..?"

A few seconds later, and the realization appeared to dawn on him, Jared's mismatched, blue-brown eyes widening. " _No-_ " He shut his laptop, leaning forward as if ready to hop off the bed. His brows furrowed, and his lips twitched. To Evan, it read as his roommate about to make some smart-ass remark, if not for disbelief leaving him at a loss. "No way - _With who_?!"

Evan's hand lowered to fiddle with the hem of his polo. With how the other seemed to be advancing, he couldn't help but let his gaze wander. "His name was Connor.”

” _From_ -?! Class? Work?”

“From...” He tugged lightly at his collar, as Connor had. Shamefully, he admitted, “Grindr.”

”No fucking way-“ Now Jared was the one with his palm out. “I need proof.”

Evan kissed his teeth but reluctantly pulled out his phone, opening the app with Connor’s profile. He held out the screen to show him, but didn’t dare let go. “That’s him.”

Jared’s jaw dropped, and he reeled back. “Connor _Murphy_?! No-“ He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him. “He doesn’t count.”

Evan pocketed the phone once more, his courage rapidly wilting. "What? Why not?”

"Are you kidding? Connor would sleep with anyone," his roommate went on. "It was supposed to be a _challenge_."

 _"Well-"_ Evan took a deep breath. He had to knock on his chest, as if to beat the resulting sting down. Of course Connor got around. He already figured that. Just maybe it felt nice to think that That Specific Care and Attention was meant only for him. At least that night. "You didn't say that. All you said was whoever loses it first-"

Jared sneered. "I know what I said." It'd be another moment in awkward silence before he added, "I'll go to the ATM later. _God_ , you couldn't wait until next week?"

Evan tried to force a smile, quickly putting two and two together. There was a party coming up that his roommate had mentioned on more than one occasion. One that made him drag Evan to the local Halloween store to 'help' pick out a costume. Jared had left with _Sexy Dark Side Lord_ \- something he claimed he could play off as a joke but would also attract 'The Right People'. Evan bought a deer onesie, still unsure if he'd actually be attending the party or not.

With nothing else to say - and deciding he was done with thinking and analyzing for the night - he was about to turn to his own bed, when Jared threw out another question: "Is he really that good?"

Evan's face flared up in an instant. “I-“ He didn't hesitate turning off the light switch then. "I don't know."

"You don't _know_?"

"He was good to me." Evan changed into his pajamas and retreated to his bed, flinching somewhat when he laid on his back. "Nice... and really gentle...But I don't know if that's the general 'Good'."

Jared huffed, and the light from his laptop once again filled his side of the room. "Sounds boring."

Evan pouted. "Why - What are people saying about him? Also-“ He perked up just a little. “How do you know him?"

"We had LGBT History together last spring. _Shocking_ ," the other grumbled, shrugging, "Forgot he was there half the time, honestly. But according to the Resident Homosexuals, he’s a freak.”

Evan waited for more, but that seemed to be all Jared had to offer, as he resumed typing away. _‘A freak?’_ It was hard to imagine from the Connor he’d been introduced to. But then again, he guessed, if he really wanted to find out...

He could always ask around, by the sounds of it.

At last, he sighed, rolling over to face the wall. His bed wasn’t anywhere near as warm or comfortable as Connor’s, but he had to try.

”Don’t stay up too late,” was the last thing he muttered to Jared.

”Sure thing, _mom_.”


	4. Chapter 4

He’d managed to get through the day.

He went to class as usual, took notes, and never spoke Connor Murphy’s name. Jared at least had enough decency not to ask anymore questions. No one pointed out anything different about him, and for once, he was grateful for the lack of attention. No one else knew what he’d done.

But then it was time for his nightshift at the cafe. Of course, he was the only person on duty, and once midnight hit, there wasn’t another soul in sight. He put on the radio, did some homework, scrolled through his phone - anything he could to suppress _those_ memories. _And yet-_

Evan eventually huffed, put his phone down, and pressed his face against the marble counter he sat behind. He could push the imagery to the back of his mind as much as he wanted; his body, on the other hand, seemed to have a much more difficult time at forgetting. 

Hoping to reach some kind of relief, Evan rubbed his thighs together. Only to make himself whimper.

 _Fuck_.

It would have been a safe spot - his back to the security camera, a full view of the entrance in case someone _did_ decide to come in. The counter was high enough that if he stayed sitting on his stool, he could hunch over and hide himself well. 

But Evan, Being Evan, had too many doubts. What if someone watched the security footage and recognized how his arm was moving? What if he somehow contaminated the register? _Worse -_ the pastry display beside the register? 

He stared ahead, looking long and careful to the windows. He didn’t notice any headlights from any cars, or any shadows creeping in from under the lights of the nearby dorm building. Surely, no one was coming.

Breath baited, Evan inevitably convinced himself to get out from behind the counter and hobble to the bathroom.

It was small, having a single toilet, but it was clean, and in that moment, he figured that was all he could ask for. He quickly did away with his work-apron and let his pants, his briefs fall to his ankles. 

A relieved sigh left his lips as Evan took himself into his hands, eyes closing.

Connor’s image was waiting at the forefront of his mind. Cold eyes pierced right through him, making silent commands that Evan felt powerless to resist. Connor’s fingers were slender, graceful, so he started his strokes slow and feather-like, hoping to imitate that. 

 _’Good boy’_ , he could practically hear him whispering. Evan shuddered, his knees already going weak below him. _‘You’re doing beautiful’._ With how warm the memory made his face feel alone, it was almost easy to believe the man was right there over his shoulder, breathing onto him. His head tilted to the side, longing to feel Connor’s cheek against his own, and he bent slightly forward, his body hoping he’d make contact with a bulge somewhere behind him. He didn’t - but he stayed awkwardly hunched over, gradually pumping himself faster. 

He became consciously aware of the soreness that still lingered between his legs. He remembered how it felt to be stretched and split open, heated by Connor from the inside out. And so very full. Evan could swear something was pulsing _deep_ inside of him, throbbing in that instant.

He didn’t realize how much he’d built himself up until he was biting his lip to muffle the moan ripped from his throat. A few more wrings around the head of his cock, and Evan locked up entirely, dumping his load out in front of him.

He was still trying to catch his breath when he blinked open his eyes, staring straight down into the toilet. 

No Connor. No pillowtalk or tattooed arms to cradle him. Just himself in a public bathroom.

He wondered, in an attempt at keeping shame at bay, how many other guys had performed the same act there before him. He redressed, and washed his hands.

He wondered if it was more or less than the number of men Connor had slept with.

Evan sighed, fiddling with the front of his apron after tying it. _Why did it matter?_ All they did was have sex. _Once_. He knew he’d be the odd one out from the start of it. If he’d wanted someone who had as much ‘experience’ as he did, he would never have joined an app meant for hook-ups. So Connor treated him better than a fleshlight and didn’t push him too far out of his comfort zone - that didn’t make him special, that made him a decent human being.

Trying to keep that in mind, Evan flushed the toilet and left the bathroom. He didn’t get far though, coming to a halt as his gaze was drawn to the entrance. Someone stood, _inside_ , with a hand on the door and their back to him, their shoulders hiked and tense under a rumpled leather jacket.

As soon as it hit that he’d neglected a customer at the cost of jerking off, Evan scrambled to his post behind the register. The words tumbled out of his mouth, “I am _so_ sorry to keep you waiting. Is there anything I can help you with?” He rushed to hide the textbook and notepad he’d left laying on the marble when something else caught his eye. A card - with _The Coffee Project_ , the name of the cafe, printed above his own name. His nametag. He hadn’t seen it since he’d left for Connor’s dorm.

The stranger turned around, and Evan, heart skipping a beat, looked up to see a familiar face. He had to blink a few times to see if he was hallucinating. 

“Where, uhm-” He picked up the tag and pinned it to his brown button-up. “Where was it?”

“Under my bed,” said Connor, scuffing an old boot on the floor and taking a few steps toward the counter. “Hope you didn’t get in trouble for not having it.”

“No - _no_ ,” Evan assured him,  “I don’t think anyone even noticed, uhm-” He stole a quick glance to the clock on the wall behind him. A little after two in the morning. “Why did you-” He swallowed his words and reconsidered, not wanting to sound accusatory. “You came out this late to give it back? I mean, I’m grateful! I am, but - wouldn’t you rather be...asleep, maybe?”

“Wouldn’t you?” Connor retorted, and his lips curled into something of a smile. 

Evan shrugged, avoiding his gaze by pretending to scrape imaginary dirt off the keys of the register. “It’s only for the rest of the week. Midterms, y’know? Did you...not finish yours?”

“I did,” came the confident answer. “Wouldn’t have gone for a walk otherwise.”

“And you usually go out for walks after midnight?”

“Sometimes. If the work’s done and I don’t have to be up too early.”

Convenient, but he sounded casual enough. Honest. Evan, however, had to be skeptical. Even then, he hardly knew the man. 

There had to be some hint of suspicion on his face; the instant Evan looked up again, Connor was slowly retreating. “Hey, I know how it looks,” he sighed, “I even circled back around thinking you’d be closed by now. Was gonna slip it under the door, but what if you never noticed?”

 _‘Well, if you’d messaged me that it was there. Or messaged me to come pick it up in the first place-‘_ Evan didn’t say that though. Instead, he said, “It’s fine. Thank you.” 

“Fine,” Connor repeated. A pause and, “Cool.” Another step back. “I’ll...see you around?”

Evan nodded, managed a faint smile and offered a sheepish wave. 

He assumed Connor probably would’ve avoided him at all cost if he could. Leaving the metaphorical door open for him to come back before Evan had left the dorm? A courtesy he likely conditioned himself to say after every hookup. Only Evan wasn’t like every hookup, he must’ve realized. Because Evan was awkward. And anxious. And Had No Idea What He Was Doing. And if he didn’t find out what exactly he did wrong, how was he supposed to fix it by the time he got into an actual relationship, on the off-chance _that_ ever happened?

“Hey-!” he called out, and Connor halted, one foot out the door. _Unfortunately,_ Evan was never the best at expressing his own words. But then he thought, he didn’t need to; someone else had already called out _one_ possible reckoning, hadn’t they?

Swallowing what iota of dignity he had left, Evan asked, “Was I boring?”

Connor looked back over his shoulder, his lips quirked, silent for a few seconds just - _waiting_. For Evan to answer his own question? For permission to leave uninterrupted?

“What the hell made you think I was _bored_?”

Evan cringed, his resolve fleeting fast. He became very interested with a coffee stain on the floor. “I just-“ Would Connor be the type to get mad if he told a friend? “I _heard_...that you were a, uhm…” 

The raven raised a brow, and Evan blurted at last, “A ‘freak’?”

A few seconds later, it came as an echo, though much more incredulous. “‘ _A freak’.”_

“Yeah, like-“ He didn’t mean to speak; he didn’t particularly _want_ to. But just Connor’s tone proved enough to spook an explanation out of him. “You know that...saying… _’a freak in the sheets’_ , I guess.” His face heated up once again as he started to ramble, “Like - if what we did was more _‘vanilla’_ than what you’re used to or...If you were bored and weren’t that happy with it, you can just say so-“

Of course, Connor didn’t respond right away, and that prompted Evan to look up. Curiosity might’ve been a deadly thing, but thankfully, the other’s look did not kill. He’d moved to sit in one of the booths. The second he met the boy’s gaze, he laughed. It was short but sweet, and possibly he sounded - relieved?

“ _Evan_ ,” Connor shook his head like there was something he’d refused to believe, “Just because you weren’t roped up shouting _’Daddy!’_ didn't make it bad sex.”

Evan had to be glowing red. Lest he digress, he cleared his throat. If Connor was able to take it so lightly, so should he. “Sorry, is - ‘Daddy’ your professional name or birth-?”

“A title,” Connor scoffed, “One I’d rather not have.”

“N-Not a fan?”

The raven shrugged. “There are other titles I’d prefer.”

Evan wondered what they could be, but he bit his tongue to resist asking. In his place, Connor went on, something cautious about his tone, “What about you? Think you’ll want a Real Daddy of your own someday?”

Evan rubbed at his neck, fussed with his hair. _A little late for a father figure, perhaps._ But for what Connor was implying - He’d never considered it? “Probably not?” he muttered. “You mean like, well - _ageplay?_ Right? That’s- _”_

“Not necessarily,” Connor interjected, “Plenty of guys would get off on being called ‘daddy’ without putting a diaper on you. Like how ‘babe’ or ‘baby boy’ can just be petnames.”

“Oh-”

The sound of Evan cracking his knuckles replaced conversation for a minute. Connor was inspecting him from the booth when he finally said, “Y’know, you can come sit if you want. I’m not gonna bite.” The added, cheeky, “Unless you want me to-” was expected.

What he didn’t quite expect was that he’d actually be brave enough to go over, somehow bringing himself to sit across from the raven. 

Folding his hands on the table, Connor leaned in. “So pacifiers and diapers aren’t your thing, huh?” he asked, “Then what is?”

Evan sunk in his seat, his mouth opening despite the lack of words exiting. Connor was his first and only - how should he know?

Before he even had time to form an excuse, the brazen devil seemed to have the answer for him. “You said you watched porn,” Connor offered. “What kind?”

Evan pouted, starting to rub at his collar bone. “I don’t know... _Normal stuff_?” he mumbled, “Doggy or missionary, but-” 

From a glance, he watched a smirk broaden on Connor’s lips, chin coming to rest on a raised palm. His voice husky when he asked, “Did you want me to take you doggy?”

Evan swallowed a squeak, and his thighs rubbed together. Now, even his ears were hot. No matter where he turned his head, he knew Connor would still see the effect on his face - but that didn’t stop him from looking nearly-over his shoulder. “...I  don’t know?”

“You don’t know a lot of things, do you?”

Evan snorted. _Obviously._

“Would you like to?”

The blond blinked at that. Curiosity be damned, he spared another glance. “ _How?_ ”

Connor couldn’t look more pleased. “Well, I can’t teach you everything,” he said, leaning back, “But, if you’re interested, I wouldn’t mind showing you my collection. Might inspire you for the future. And if there were other positions you wanted to explore-”

“You’d take me?” 

Surprised by his own words, Evan turned to lock apologetic eyes on Connor’s. He caught a sense of stage fright from how impressed he seemed.

“If you’d let me.”

Evan’s nerves bubbled out in the form of a giggle, and he bit at his nails. He had two options: accept the offer, or look forward to another night jacking off in the bedroom, reminiscing on how the raven stared him down now.

So he nodded.

“ _Good-_ “ If a fireplace on a cold winter’s night had a voice, it would speak with Connor’s voice, no doubt. “So when are you free?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

He didn’t originally have the night off.

But Evan had already convinced himself that if he wasted too much time, Connor’s offer would expire.

So he called out of work sick and went straight from his last class to the man’s dorm.

When he mentioned showing him his ‘collection’, Evan wasn’t sure what he’d meant. A collection of porn, maybe? He didn’t have to wonder for long; Connor had everything set neatly on the bed for the moment he entered: a remarkable assortment of sex toys.

He had it all, by the looks of it. Butt plugs, vibrators, anal beads, creams, a _ variety _ of handcuffs, blindfolds,  _ rope _ , a cock ring, a penis pump, a flog and a paddle. They were in better condition than he would’ve assumed - like Connor hadn’t unboxed them until that day. If Evan didn’t know any better, he might’ve thought the toys were bought  _ just  _ for him.

He picked up the bundle of rope and rubbed it between his fingers to familiarize the texture. There didn’t appear to be any wear to it, so maybe there was a chance this piece was just for him. He tried to imagine how it would feel against his skin. Would it hurt?   


What would it give Connor the power to do that he’d be unable to stop?

“If you had to pick something for me,” Evan fought himself to say. Really, he wasn’t sure where to go from there; he merely set the rope down, reluctant to look back. “What would you choose?”

The floor creaked behind him, and then, there was weight against his back. Warm breath tickled his ear as Connor reached around him, his hand hovering briefly above his display.   


Evan’s heart skipped a beat when he watched him take hold of a leather collar, chain leash attached.

_ “May I?”   
_

Connor was already lifting it to his neck, and the more Evan shrunk back, the further he trapped himself. Chances were, ‘no’ was an option - he just didn’t feel like he was in the right to protest. So he gulped and muttered, “Not too tight?”

Seconds later, the collar was fastened, hanging loosely around his neck. Connor took a step back, and Evan exhaled, though his next breath caught in his throat. Connor had tugged sharp on the chain, prompting the boy to face him.

Hazel eyes shot directly to the floor to avoid piercing greys.

“Look at me, Evan.”   


_ Oh no- _

Hugging his arm, Evan allowed his gaze to flicker upward. He’d only hoped Connor could see he was  _ trying.  _ “S-Sorry.”

A careful grasp held his chin in place before his head was tilted up, allowing Connor to make an assessment of the collar, he guessed. When Evan could no longer meet his eyes, he shifted his sights to the hand gripping his leash.   


It might have been worth remembering that Connor was  _ still technically a stranger _ sooner. At best, they were acquaintances. At worst, Evan had surrendered control of his body to someone he only knew so little about. Someone whose dorm he was visiting under the pretense of ‘trying something new’ without establishing any limits. “ _ Hey- _ “   


Connor seemed just as surprised as Evan at the sound of his own voice. The boy had to clear his throat to invoke the rest, “Can we maybe... _ not _ with the chain? Please?”

“Oh-“ Connor blinked, seeming to snap out of whatever frame of mind he was in before fumbling to unhook the leash. “Yeah-  _ there _ .” Evan rubbed at his neck and the collar, and Connor offered an uncertain smile. “Better?”

It was. Maybe if he wanted to take advantage of him, he would have already. It was just nice to know that ( _ God forbid things did go wrong _ ) Evan might at least have a fighting chance-

“Thank you,” he mumbled. He stepped aside, exercising his freedom while Connor moved to gather the blanket from the bed. Every toy and accessory was then wrapped inside and discarded to the floor so the man could sit.

Evan presumed that was his cue to join him. However, he barely took a step forward when the other raised a palm, stopping him. He didn’t need to ask - Connor’s order came clear and compelling: “Strip for me first.”

Maybe Evan shouldn’t have been surprised to be given such a command, but he stood frozen nonetheless. Connor undressing him was one thing - that made him part of the act. It was the idea of an audience that Evan was afraid of. He could barely put himself in front of a classroom without stuttering to incomprehension, and this man expected him to be - What?  _ Sexy? _

“You should know I’ve never done this before,” he confessed, removing his polo without a shred of grace just to take his time. Stripping was supposed to be a slow thing, right? A ‘tease’?   


Connor scoffed and scanned the boy’s torso, his expression smug and amused. “Gee, you don’t say.”

Evan pouted and slipped out of his shoes, then his pants. He was dawdling with his boxers when he mumbled, “I think I prefer you doing it.”

He decided he had to turn around to take his underwear off -  _ but fine _ , Evan shook his ass as it was exposed to  _ try  _ to make it cute. Though, maybe he was too subtle about it, because Connor didn’t laugh or comment on him at all. He just heard rummaging.

Seconds later, another command: “Turn around.”

Hands clasped over his groin, Evan faced Connor. He was on his feet again, but he had a slim, black vibrator in one hand and a small bottle in the other. Lube, Evan could only assume. “Lay down.” It sounded more like a suggestion than a demand. “On your stomach.”

Evan dipped his head and did as he was told, trying to get cozy on the bed. A weight settled between his legs, and he held his breath. Pointless when a cold, wet finger circled his asshole, making him gasp into a pillow.

“You’re going  _ to— _ ?” He swallowed the words ‘fuck me’ because  _ dear god _ , he certainly wasn’t going to pretend to be that bold and what if he was wrong? Except- Connor’s finger was soon in and out of him, and the last time that happened, that was exactly where things lead. Maybe he should stop being so surprised.

“ _ You’re  _ going to stay right here.” Something slightly bigger than a finger and much smoother pressed against his rim, and he really,  _ really  _ tried not to tense up as it slid deeper and deeper into him. The vibrator. Evan licked his drying lips and whined, hips wiggling while it settled against his prostate. A hand patted his ass, and then, the weight behind him lifted.

Looking over his shoulder, Evan watched as Connor sat in his desk chair, swiveling to face his laptop.   


“ _ Wait!  _ What am I—”

“I’ve got an article to review,” Connor said calmly. “Once I’m done, I’m all yours. But until then-” He pointed a miniature remote in Evan’s direction and pressed a button. Evan gasped again, legs twitching as the toy pulsed rhythmically inside of him. Pleasant - that after a moment, he could melt into the mattress, close his eyes, and enjoy it - and thankfully not too intense.

“ _ Okay _ -” Evan said, because really there was no reason to complain. Connor’s bed was just as welcoming as he remembered it. His pillows were thick and plush and smelled faintly of smoke and cologne. The bedsheet was wonderfully smooth too, and it felt  _ so nice  _ when he gave into the urge to roll his hips down.   


He laid there, relatively relaxed, thinking  _ ‘alright, this isn’t so bad’ _ , for a few minutes. So it wasn’t what he expected when he took the night off, but he was, at least, comfortable. It almost seemed casual - Connor typing away while Evan, nude, half-heartedly humped his bed. No big deal.

_ Click. _

Evan shuddered suddenly from head to foot. “ _ Uhm _ -” The vibrator pulsed faster and stronger, making it harder to sit still. It didn’t take him long to figure out that it actually felt better to keep his hips lifted, tilted at a natural Ready For Entry angle, with his toes pushing into the mattress.

He bit his lip and nuzzled his face restlessly against a pillow.   


Evan had to wonder if they’d be in the same situation if he’d agreed to the leash. Was this Plan B, or would he simply be tied to the knob of the bedpost?

He spared another glance to find Connor staring at his screen, fidgeting with the remote. “Why the, mmm -  _ sorry,  _ just _ \-  _ what about the collar?” He didn’t know if he was supposed to be quiet, but he needed to keep himself distracted somehow.

“What about it?”

“W-Well, it’s like-” Evan placed his fingers around the collar, getting a feel for the leather and lightly tugging at it. “We’re not using it?”

“You’re wearing it, aren’t you?” Connor looked back then, as if to make sure that he was.

“Yes, but... _ Why _ ?”

The raven grinned, gave a subtle shake of his head, and resumed typing.   


_ Click _ .  _ Click _ .

Evan’s eyes widened, and his thighs trembled as the toy hammered against his prostate. It became embarrassingly difficult to bite his whimpers back, so he let them flow freely into his pillow instead. It wasn’t long after that he was pulling his knees up, putting his weight on them in order to keep his ass lifted - despite the fact that letting himself feel  _ so good  _ was most certainly  _ not  _ helping.

Evan managed to survive a few more minutes, probably; _really,_ _it felt like forever_. Like holding your breath underwater. Finally, he had to gasp for air, “Are you almost done?”

Connor swivelled his chair around, silent for a moment, before saying, “You’re not rushing me.” It almost sounded like a question, or a challenge. Like it was some unspoken Rule that Evan wasn’t allowed to rush him, and Connor was giving him a second chance to avoid the consequences for breaking it.

Evan decided to take it.

“ _ No _ ,” he whined, squirming and arching and shaking his head. “But I’m - I’m not going to...to last long like -  _ oh my god  _ \- like this, I’m gonna cum soon--”

Connor snickered. “So?”

_ “‘So?’” _

“What’s stopping you?”

“What? I’m--” There was another merciless click, and Evan yelped, hips jolting. “You are!” he cried. “Connor,  _ please-- _ ”   


Another click followed, but that only brought it to the original setting, which felt like  _ nothing  _ at that point. Evan groaned. He didn’t  _ want  _ to surrender yet, but after getting a taste of how close he was to feeling as good as possible, his body had separate priorities.   


“I never said you couldn’t cum,” Connor mused, walking up beside him. He grazed a hand between his cheeks, right over the base of the vibrator, and Evan was all too inclined to angle himself to the touch.

“But—“ he peeped. “I’m waiting.”

“For?”

Evan’s face became so warm it made him dizzy, and his hips swayed without much thought to. He gave his virginity to this man two nights ago yet it took every ounce of willpower to ensure his feeble voice was heard - “For us to have sex.”

Connor’s smirk turned notably wolffish and his cackle sounded something like a rattlesnake. “What’s the matter?” The words started distant, but then the bed was creaking, followed by the familiar weight against Evan’s back, hot breath on his shoulder, and strong hips urging his own back into the mattress. He was trapped. “I’ve already put something inside of you,” Faint kisses were pressed into his neck. “Isn’t that enough?”

Evan mewled, rubbed his butt against the bulge in Connor’s jeans. The vibrator intensified slightly, briefly. Because then Connor was shifting, and that made the toy retreat, guided by his hand. It tumbled onto the floor, but Evan could barely recover before the raven was cupping and carefully groping his balls, fingers gradually making their way up his aching shaft.

When Evan couldn’t do anything but whimper in response, Connor taunted him, “ _ Honestly? _ Doubt you’ll last long enough for me to do much.”

“Then-” Evan panted, “Keep doing this.  _ Please _ .” He lowered his hand, tried to guide Connor’s further up his cock, only for the raven to pull away. “ _ No-!” _

It was shameful, probably, but maybe if he  _ knew _ Connor was sitting on the bed just to pull him into his lap, he could’ve contained himself. Although - Evan was more than deliberate in spreading his legs wide apart, leaning back against Connor’s chest while the man started jerking him off.  _ “Thank you-” _

“You’re a needy little thing, huh?” Connor rasped. He hooked an arm under one of Evan’s thighs to keep him from slipping; his other fingers were persistent, merciless in pumping his cock and teasing the tip.   


Evan couldn’t look at anything else. All he could do was nod, whimper  _ “Mhm” _ , and moan and gasp. He was so close.

“You must really like how I make you feel.” The way Connor said it sounded terribly sweet, not cocky or presumptuous. He licked the shell of Evan’s ear, nibbled on his lobe, and didn’t show any sign of remorse as the poor boy melted away in his arms. “You know, I could do so much more for you-”

With how he had teased him, Evan wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. “Tonight..?”

Connor kissed his cheek, and if Evan knew how, he would’ve asked him to do it again and again. Instead, he settled for nuzzling against his shoulder. “Other nights,” the raven whispered, “Whenever You Want nights.”   


His hand slowed on Evan’s cock, leaving the boy with enough coherency to utter, “Really?” Connor was offering to make even more time for him?  _ Really? _

A magnificent smile graced the man’s lips, and he gazed right down into Evan’s eyes. “You look  _ very  _ pretty this close to the edge-” His hand sped up again, tearing a high-pitched moan right from Evan’s throat.   


He was so sure Connor would reconsider, nose to nose - watching his eyes widen, his face flush, and his mouth hang open. But then, he finished, “Like  _ that _ . I’d like to see more of that.”

They may as well have been the nicest words ever spoken to him; they definitely  _ felt  _ that way when paired with Connor jerking him off. He wanted to thank him, wanted to say  _ ‘yes’ _ a thousand times, if that was what Connor needed to hear - He couldn’t. Each attempt, too hypnotized by silver eyes or enamored by his grin before Evan finally had to pull the man in for a kiss, fingers tangling in his lush hair.

It was passionate and hungry, and he almost retreated when he thought Connor might bite down on his tongue too hard. Instead, though, Evan kissed all around his mouth, connected their lips over and over, and only stopped when his body locked up.   


His breath caught in his throat, he shut his eyes, and he shivered.  _ “Fuck yes- don’t stop- Yeah, c’mon, c’mon- ’m so- close- Connor- Yes- Yes! Pleasepleaseplease-” _

One more loud, strangled moan, and Evan reached his limit.   


Kisses instantly rained all across his face, and Connor controlled his hand as he made sure to get every last drop out of him. It coated his palm, and Evan took a minute longer to check the damage when he realized his dick was being slicked in his own cum.   


Glancing down, he noticed a slight stain on Connor’s jeans. “Sorry,” he snivelled.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Connor inched back on the bed, helping Evan lay down comfortably. There was a box of tissues on the nightstand, and he was quick to utilize them, wiping off his hand, the stain on his pants, and then Evan’s cock.

Evan kept his eyes on Connor the whole time, studying the look of concentration on his face, almost shying away each time the other glanced back at him with a smile. “Was that good?” he asked.

Evan nodded, needing another moment to find his voice. “ _ Yeah _ ,” he inevitably peeped. “You’re really good at this.”

Connor sighed, sounding wistful, and after tossing the tissues into a bin, climbed on top of the boy. “You’re really fun to do this with,” he murmured, pecking his cheek. “If you’re not seeing anyone…” He trailed off in favor of kissing Evan’s lips, softly. The boy returned it without hesitation.

“I’m not,” he assured, “I - I’d like to see you, if that’s okay.”

Kisses continued across his jaw, and Evan could feel Connor’s grin against his skin. His arms wrapped cautiously around his neck, but he didn’t need to use any effort to have the man lay down on top of him. Evan could have closed his eyes, could’ve savored that peaceful moment, Connor’s warmth, and the knowledge that he was  _ wanted  _ in someway and been contented for days-

But a peculiar poke against his inner thigh kept him distracted.   


“Oh, you’re-” Evan laughed nervously, despite himself. His knee drifted between Connor’s legs, lightly rubbing against his bulge. “I still need to take care of you.”

Connor sighed, dramatically this time, and pushed himself off of the bed. “If you start me up again,” he said, collecting Evan’s clothes. “We’re going to be here all night.” Though, he didn’t say it like it would have been a bad thing. “I’ll take care of it later. Don’t worry.”   


So Evan sat up, took his clothes from Connor, and changed - per Connor’s command - without worry. He was tying his shoes when the man spoke up again, “Is it alright if I walk you outside?”

Evan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too big. It was so alright, he had to refrain from gushing when he agreed to it.

…

Jared hadn’t returned to the dorm yet, but with what Evan was seeing on his phone, he felt the need to hide under his covers nonetheless. For the longest time, he thought dick pics were an unwanted thing. That they were sent specifically to make the recipient uncomfortable, because really, what could anyone do with that?   


But then, after adding his number to Evan’s phone and texting for a bit, Connor offered to send one to Evan, and for some reason, Evan accepted.   


So now he had a picture of Connor’s very erect penis, and it absolutely was not the worst thing in the world.

    ‘It’s big.  **♥️** ’

That was a sexy thing to say, right? Tops liked that?

The response came seconds later:

‘If you say so~’

Evan smiled to himself at that, starting to knead his own bulge through his pajama pants.

‘You’ll actually put it in me next time?’

‘Is that what you want, baby boy?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Bring your collar and it’s a promise.’

His thumb hovered over the keypad for a moment.   


It was an accident - not noticing when he’d gotten dressed at Connor’s dorm, only to realize when he went to brush his teeth. He’d left with the collar on. And he still hadn’t taken it off.

‘So it’s mine now?’

Minutes passed without an answer, and Evan might’ve started to worry - if not for reminding himself what Connor had to deal with from the picture. So he breathed in and put his phone aside, eyes fluttering shut as he slid his hands into his boxers. He thought about Connor between his legs, teasing him with his cock. About it throbbing hot and thick inside of him, pounding into him with twice the intensity of the vibrator.

Or - because he hadn’t been specific- what if Connor ordered him onto his knees instead? Wanted to use his mouth? Would he make him swallow, or pull out just in time to paint Evan white?

Of course, it wasn’t long until he was thinking _ what kind of person was he becoming if he would just let Connor do whatever he wanted to him _ . Something he could’ve considered critically if not for the sound of the door opening.

Evan rushed to take the collar off but stayed hidden on the blankets.

Someone sighed loudly, obnoxiously, and proceeded to their side of the room. It wasn’t the first time Jared had walked in on him helping himself, but Evan was grateful he chose not to say anything that round.

He held his breath, trying to slow down his racing heart, when his phone lit up beside him. Another text.

‘If you’re mine now.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!  
> This chapter is technically incomplete but I wanted to get this bit out in time for the holiday at least, so expect another one by this weekend.  
> Tossed in some cameo appearances in this chapter as well. Any BMC fans?

The next time they saw each other, they did not have sex. Evan didn’t even know he’d be seeing Connor.

It hadn’t been a very good day, so he wasn’t particularly in the mood. Hadn’t so much as texted his ‘friend’ ( _Were they friends?_ ). Connor didn’t need to hear about the potted plants he dropped in front of his entire class because he didn’t stop to think to balance them in his arms first - or about his class watching as he scrambled to pick up the pieces until his professor came over with a broom. He didn’t need to see the way Evan hunched at the counter, nearly doubled over under the weight of customer complaints. He’d gotten two drinks wrong from already lingering shame and so he hesitated on several orders after that. People weren’t happy.

If nothing else, Evan was sure wet and red eyes from crying weren’t exactly Attractive.

But at just about midnight, Connor came in anyway. Evan caught a glimpse as he approached, grin fading quickly from the man’s face. “You alright?”

“Yeah- I’m-“ Evan wiped his face, got off his stool and forced an awkward smile. “I’m fine. Just- _midterms, y’know?_ And capitalism—”

Connor huffed, maybe trying to laugh. It was still too much effort, as far as Evan was concerned. He rushed to make up for it, “Can I get you anything?”

Gloomy eyes lingered on him a moment longer before an answer was given - “Black coffee. Thank you.” Connor handed over the money for it but strayed away from the counter to look around while Evan poured his drink. Paper bats dangled from the ceiling, zombies climbed out of posters on the walls, cartoonish wild eyes peered through every window.

When he turned back to the boy handing him a mug, he asked, “What’re your plans this weekend?”

Already anticipating an invitation back to his dorm, Evan hesitated to tell Connor. Even if it wasn't for that night, he wasn't in the mood to make those kinds of plans either. So he wiped down the coffee machine and told him about the Halloween party he and Jared were supposed to go to, about how he didn’t know if he was going to go or not at that point. That seemed to put a light back in Connor’s eyes.

“Well, if you don’t go,” he started, a bit of a lift in his voice, “There’s gonna be a haunted house thing right outside of campus. It’ll probably be lame, but-” He shrugged over a sip of coffee. “It’s something to do.”

Evan’s brows knitted together. “You want me to go with you..?”

Connor shrugged again, somehow more exaggerated. “Everyone else I know just wants to get hammered, and that’s not really my scene. So since you don’t drink—“ He nodded thoughtfully. “ _Yeah.”_

Suddenly, it didn’t matter what happened the next day because Evan had something to look forward to other than sex that night. He had a reason to wear his deer onesie with little plush antlers on the hood. As silly as he felt wearing it, he did think Jared looked sillier in his costume when he left for the party. But rather than give his opinion on how he was pretty sure his roommate’s X-rated Star Wars outfit qualified more as lingerie than a costume, he just told him to have fun. They had already been through it: “Halloween costumes at our age are either stupid, scary, or sexy, _Evan_ ”.

_Well, Jared, you certainly marked all the boxes this year._

          ‘I’m here.’

The message popped up on his phone, and Evan hurried out the dorm, down to the building entrance. Connor had said he’d drive them to the haunted house, and sure enough, there he was, leaning against a shiny black Range Rover with black tinted windows. “ _Hi_.”

“Hi yourself.” Connor scanned him up and down and laughed, “You look _really_ cute, oh my god.”

Evan shrugged and folded his arms, feeling his face get warm in spite of the autumn chill. His gaze swept Connor’s body, and he raised a brow. “Where’s your costume..?”

Grey eyes widened, seemingly caught off guard. “I’m wearing it!”

Evan grimaced, considering the man’s camouflage-print sweatclothes. “You’re...a soldier?”

Connor’s jaw dropped, and he flailed his arms, exasperated. “I’m _invisible._ Like the _Invisible Man_. Get it, ‘cause I’m--”

“Because of-! _Okay, yeah_ ! The camo!” Evan exclaimed, remembering that the joke was very much A Thing, “Sorry, I’m - _it’s clever._ I’m dumb.”

“You’re not dumb.” Connor grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him closer. Before Evan could try to convince him of the contrary, he was having his onesie pulled away from his neck - revealing the leather collar underneath. Connor said, sounding a tad surprised, “You’re wearing it.”

All nerve left him, and Evan hid his face away into Connor’s chest. Really, he wasn’t sure _what_ he was thinking when he put it on. Except, maybe - “I’m a... _pet-_ deer?”

“Hm?” Fingers carded through his hair and an arm draped around him. It certainly made him feel coddled like one. “Is that so?”

Evan nodded because it was easier than trying to explain why he likely would have worn it without the costume. No, that was something he’d need to figure out with himself on any other Over-Analytical Night - not the one time he was meant to go out and be normal (at least as normal as being Evan Hansen would allow).

His fingers curled into Connor’s sweater. It was a particularly soft fabric, and he couldn’t exactly picture the man wearing them on a normal day.

“Are these,” he asked, trying to change the topic, “Your _pajamas_?”

The hood of his onesie was promptly pulled over his eyes, and before Evan could shake free to fix it, Connor had pulled away. “Get in the car.”

…

Probably, the most alluring of Connor’s features was his voice. It was his rich, husky way of speaking that drew Evan to follow his commands, but still, somehow, sounding so young that Evan could recognize him as equal. And maybe even relatable. Especially if Connor would trail off or pause, as if he were uncertain of himself.

It became obvious in the car, while Evan listened to him talk about the spirit of Halloween and how it seemed to be fading in recent years. He sounded - average. Not like a man who existed solely to pleasure people from his dorm. And that stuck to Evan more than he realized, apparently. Because that was what he remembered of Connor inviting him out. _Not_ that Connor was inviting him to a haunted house.

Because, clearly, what Evan _didn’t_ remember from that encounter was that he was _terrified_ of haunted houses.

He’d only ever gone through one once, years prior, when Jared dragged him through ( _literally_ , dragged him by the arm while boardwalk-budget animatronics popped out at them). The threat of tears had always managed to dissuade his mom as a kid, but Jared insisted it was time to “man up”. Man _down_ , more like it. Evan still carried the shame of coming out the other end _sobbing_ , although he was pretty sure Jared was twice as embarrassed just to be seen with him.

He bit his nails and fiddled incessantly with the zipper of his onesie as they joined a long line of people. It’d lead them to what was originally a small, vacated factory, decorated to a zombie outbreak theme, bathed in flashing red and blue lights, and blaring with screams and punk rock music.

To make it easier for Connor, Evan clung to his arm. He would stare at the ground the entire time inside, stay as close to the other as possible. If anyone came up to him, he’d just shut his eyes tight! He could do it.

Couldn’t he?

An elbow nudged his side and Evan snapped his head upward. Connor was smirking down at him. “Scared?”

An all too wide smile split across his face, and Evan quickly shook his head. “ _Me?_ ” he wheezed. “ _No way!_ I’m - _totally_ good. _Why would I even be-_ ? Are _you_?”

It would have been nice of Connor to at least admit he was spooked - considerate, even. But since he was six feet tall, fit, and probably watched horror movies in his spare time, he scoffed instead and said, “I wish.”

“Excuse me?” A female’s voice cut through from behind, and Evan felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around, he found a short, stout girl wearing antennas and the fuzziest sweater he’d ever seen beaming up at him. “Hi!” she squealed. “Sorry to _bug_ you _,_ but would you mind taking our picture?” Of course Evan would. He took the phone from her, and she spun to her partner’s side, wings of wire and cloth flapping on her back. Her companion was a lanky young man, and he wore what must have been an umbrella hat on his head, lined with LED lights. It did not make taking the photo easy.

“Ahh...Okay-“ They put their arms around each other and smiled, and Evan snapped two pictures. In the first, the boy was clear but everything else was covered in shadows, and in the second, visibility was mostly fine, but the boy’s face was whited out. Almost like his head had been replaced by the moon.

“Sorry, I tried,” Evan apologized, giving the girl her phone back, “Maybe if you - turned off the lights on the..?”

To his amazement, both of their faces lit up even more so at seeing the second picture. “This is perfect!” the girl cheered. “Thank you!” Then, she was jutting her hand toward Evan. “I’m Christine, by the way!”

“Evan,” he replied, shaking her hand. Her partner introduced himself as Jeremy, and Connor, who Evan didn’t realize was paying attention, gave his name too.

“ _Ooooh_ , a little Deer and Hunter Action,” Christine commented with a wink, “I love it!”

Evan expected Connor to correct her on his costume, but all he said was, “Respect to the moth-lamp combo.” He elbowed Evan in the side again. “Why didn’t we think of that?”

Evan could only stare at him, at a loss. They never intended to coordinate in the first place..?

Luckily, Jeremy chimed in, bragging about how Christine made the costumes herself - and not just that, but half of the costumes being used in the haunted house, as well. The girl seemed frazzled by that and cut him off, promising them “It was nothing!” and “All I did was hold a hot glue gun!” Then, “Oh! Connor? If you could—“ when the line moved further along.

Evan pressed closer to Connor, and Christine bounced beside Jeremy as two ushers in gas masks came into view. She asked, “Are you boys ready to be _shooketh_?”

“ _Oh yeah_ ,” came Connor’s flippant answer. Evan must’ve been stalling, counting the number of people ahead of them (a handful), because then the man was nudging him a third time.

It surprised the honesty right out of him - “Not really? _I mean-_ I bet it’s great, just- I’m not... _good_ with jump scares.”

“You know, I’ve yet to meet someone who is,” said Christine, having this sympathetic look about her. It was especially nice that she added, “I know I’m not!”

“If you guys want,” Jeremy offered, haloed in Lamp Glory. “You could...stick with us?” He sucked in his breath only to huff it back out. “They’ve- already got a target on me, I know that much. They could be less likely to bother you if I’m there.”

“And what’d you do to earn that?” Connor asked curiously.

Jeremy flashed his teeth, not quite a smile. “I’m friends with them.”

Evan snorted, and Christine rubbed her partner’s arm, looking up at him like he was (mind the pun) the light of her life. Connor stepped aside, gesturing in front of himself, and allowed the couple to cut ahead of them.

They continued talking with the time they had - or rather, Christine was adamant about not letting the conversation die. She talked about zombie-killing video games that Jeremy had been teaching her to play, so if it came to it, she felt she could "take them on". According to Jeremy, she was becoming a better shot than he was. Evan tried to contribute; self-conscious as he was, they seemed eager to connect. He admitted that, while he never had a zombie phase, he did read _Warm Bodies_ in high school and thought it was a nice spin on the genre, more romance than violence. Cliche Love Cures message, but he was a sucker for happy endings. They gave him hope. Apparently, the movie adaptation was the first zom-flick Jeremy shared with Christine, thinking it had elements they both would enjoy. 

Connor didn’t speak up until the group found themselves at the front of the line, and everyone reached for their wallets. “I’ve got it,” he insisted, urging Evan's hand away.

 _“Wait._ But-- _”_

“It’s - _$7_ each? It’s fine.” A swift payment later, and they followed Christine and Jeremy to the entrance.

There, they were greeted by two men in army costumes strapped with modified Nerf Guns. They shined flashlights in their eyes before giving an " _All clear!"_ and herding them through the front doors. From that point on, Evan had Connor's arm in a vice-like grip.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini-Chapter.  
> There is still one more addition to be made to Evan and Connor’s evening, but I did promise myself to get something out by the weekend-

He braced for terror. 

For helplessness that came with giving his consent just by entering the building.

He expected the narrow walkways, the animatronics timed to pounce, and the actors, gored and eerie as they prowled about.

And he got that.

He just never expected it would be in the form of laser tag.

Jeremy was the leader of their “troop”. He was singled out immediately by the first actor they were introduced to - _General Mell,_ who informed them from a rafter above the factory floor that there was a “breach in the colony”. That their group was their last line of defense, that the future of the colony rests on their shoulders, and that if Jeremy’s apparent leadership was any indication to the rest of the troop’s abilities: “ _We gave it a good run.”_

They were rushed to The Armory next. It was the only time Evan detached from Connor - just so the other could help put a harness on him and hand him a lasergun. Not that it amounted to much. Once Evan was latched onto him again, he found it impossible to break free enough to even aim the damned thing.

Jeremy headed the charge into the Breach Zone, and Connor, thankfully, hadn’t forgotten they were supposed to stay close behind. 

Walls and curtains and other horror-inspired drapery were set up to create a maze within the factory. At first, it felt like they were retracing steps at every turn; flashes of neon green, red, and purple from overhead made it that much more difficult to determine what were shadows and what were actual barriers. Adding to the distortion was the rock music resounding somewhere in the heart of the factory. Judging by how the bass shook Evan to his very bones, he guessed they couldn’t be far from it.

The animatronics weren’t all that horrifying, merely giant spiders and ugly dogs that leapt out of corners. They still had Evan hide his face against Connor’s shoulder on impulse each time, but he’d tried to laugh it off and apologize after (though he was sure Connor couldn’t hear him). 

The Zombies themselves weren’t terribly creepy either, but their presence alone did make Evan’s heart race - which, combined with the effect of the music, left his stomach churning. It was less their growls and exaggerated stage make-up then the fact they were running directly at their group with lasers of their own. _Most specifically,_ they were running for Jeremy, and as soon as Connor picked up on this, he was dragging Evan down another corridor. From the corner of his eye, he thought he saw everyone else disband too - trailed by Christine yanking Jeremy along.

There were screams and cries of laughter at every turn. It sounded like _fun_.

Connor had a much better sense of direction than Jeremy. They didn’t really get boxed in, and in hindsight, Evan would wonder if, when they did, even that was on purpose. Rather than retreat, Connor would wait for a zombie to round the corner, aim his laser and recoil victoriously when they sunk to their knees, groaning. He’d had a number of successes by the feel of things, and Evan strained his ears to listen once he realized Connor was muttering _“Yes!_ ” and “ _Got ‘em!_ ” under his breath.

He’d lost any sense of time, but _eventually_ , the walls around them started opening up. Moonlight seeped in as a garage door was opened, and Connor rushed them out. They didn’t get far once outside, though. There were other volunteers waiting to collect their harnesses and guns and tally up scores. Connor wanted to wait for the rest of the group to see where he ranked, and at first, Evan didn’t have a problem with that. He wanted to see Jeremy and Christine to tell them thank you and goodbye. 

Until he needed to grab a hold of Connor again. Not that he had anything to be scared of - Just the nausea from carrying pent-up anxiety while simultaneously running around finally caught up with him. He closed his eyes and tried focusing on filling his lungs with cold air. Mentally unwinding tangles from his brain and stomach. 

“ _Evan-_ ” Connor’s voice was quiet but urgent enough to make him lift his head. He only blinked when the man said, “Holy shit, dude- you’re _shaking_.”

He pulled back to find that his hands were, in fact, trembling tremendously. “ _Sorry_ , I’m-“ Evan started, waiting for them to stop to give an excuse. They didn’t, and he tucked them under his arms, hoping that what Connor didn’t see, he could forget. “Sorry.”

The man knitted his brows and eyed around for the rest of the group. Jeremy and Christine had just run out but were still being chased by General Mell and a zombie covered in burns. The collecting volunteers looked on tiredly. 

“ _C’mon_.” A firm hand pressed between Evan’s shoulders, and he realized he was being led again, to a pathway around the factory, back to the parking lot.

“But-“ Evan spoke automatically, “What about your score?”

He watched Connor hesitate and spare another glance back. He ended up shrugging, and a kind smile nearly proved warm enough to end Evan’s shivering. “How do you think I did?”

Evan considered it. How Connor kept him protected. How he barely flinched and stood his ground against gun-wielding zombies. The number of times he caught his quiet cheers. Who else could he say did all of that?

He smiled back at him, hoping, wistful that Connor would think him just as kind. “I think you’re the winner. No contest.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additionally, a huge thank you to those of you leaving comments and supporting this story. They mean a lot and have been really inspiring in my push to continue. :)

“Thank you.”

Evan rolled up his window, and Connor turned off the car. It’d been a quiet ride, but at least his queasiness had subsided. No more shaking either. Whenever he’d looked over, Connor would still have that pleasant look on his face. 

“Did you have a good time?”

Evan could feel a glow coming over him, and he dipped his head. “I had a lot of fun. Yeah. Sorry, if I didn’t- _seem_ like it, but you...You made it fun. _Thank you_.”

Connor’s hand left the steering wheel, and Evan’s breath stuttered as his chin was tilted up. “ _Well-_ ” Voice barely above a whisper, Connor leaned in. Evan studied how his lips formed every word - “I’m glad for that. Hate to find out I traumatized you.”

“ _What_ ?” Evan could have snorted. He thought he saw a twinkle in Connor’s eyes, but he was unable to stop himself, “No- _no_ , nothing like that. God, I- I know I’m like, _a wimp_ , and I’m- _really sorry if I did anything to embarrass you or acted ungrateful because I really did have a good time and I can still get you the money back if you want it but-_ ”

The rest faded into Connor’s mouth. A point forgotten as all of Evan’s attention abruptly shifted to kissing the man. He made a grab for his sweater, something to use for purchase in an attempt to match Connor’s sudden heat. It was the least he could do.

Until the man was tugging on him in turn, and his lips moved to Evan’s ear. “You know, it’s hard to believe you’re a wimp with that collar around your neck.”

A whine slipped out involuntarily, and Evan tucked his head under Connor’s chin, pretending he could delay the confrontation. With cheeks starting to burn, he mumbled, “That’s two different things.”

“Is it?” Connor’s hands wandered to his back, idly rubbing up and down. Evan nodded.

“The collar’s for you, and I’m- _I don’t know-_ -”

“What do you mean _for_ me?”

“You _know—_ ”

“ _Do I_?”

Evan gulped a mouthful of air just to exhale it all in a huff. “I don’t know.” He frowned, aware of how pathetic he sounded. He receded to look up at the other. “I don’t know how else to say it other than it felt like- I _had to_ ? And I know that’s _weird_ because I think the implication was that if I wore it the next time you saw me, we’d have sex even though that wasn’t the plan tonight which was totally fine, but just knowing that I was going to see you made me feel like I had to because- _I_ \- something to do with _respect_ , maybe…?”

In Connor’s face, Evan saw disbelief, confusion, confliction - and then he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t quite read him after that. 

_You had to be honest?_

He glanced out the car window to his dorm building.

_You couldn’t have gone along with it?_

“I had fun-”

“ _Evan-_ ”

He fiddled with the collar to get it off, keeping his head low. “I _really_ don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m sorry if I tricked you into thinking I did, but I think the more we do stuff like this, the weirder I’m going to get and I don’t think that’s what you want-” He cut himself off, not realizing why the collar was only getting tighter.

“How about instead of assuming the things I want-” Evan froze as Connor’s fingers grazed his neck. Relief ensued as the collar consequently fell off. “You _ask?_ ”

The boy sunk against the door, at a loss of what to say or do from there. But with Connor expectantly waiting, it was all he could do to give that pre-programmed response: “I’m sorry.”

The man sighed and slumped back into his seat. His storm cloud eyes scoped the world from their side of the windshield in tense silence. Maybe he should have left after "thank you".

“You’re _assuming_ -” Connor started again, and Evan spotted a small smile that hadn’t reached the man’s eyes. “That I don’t _want_ weird.”

_Who would?_

Rather than argue, he fixed his posture, at least to show he was listening. 

“Don’t get me wrong, you made it obvious you were fucking weird the second I let you into my dorm, but hey- _I am too_. Hell, you must’ve heard it first, right? You were the one calling me a freak--”

“In the _sheets_ !” He felt incredibly stupid for blurting it, but if nothing else, he _really_ didn’t want Connor thinking it went without context. “And that was just...what other people said, but _I don’t know!_ That’s probably normal! You let me go with a collar and I wore it out just… _because!_ ”

“I _put_ a collar on you. That’s not fucking weird?”

“ _Is it?!_ ”

“Get in the back seat.”

The statement threw Evan so far off, he wasn’t certain he’d heard it right. “I-- _What?”_

He’d had half a beat to collect himself before Connor pounced, all but jumping out of his seat to trap Evan in his own by holding himself up against the door. He could’ve sworn his heart took off right out of his chest.

“I want to show you I want you.”

“ _Oh_ —”

“Do you want me to do that?”

Evan had to think about that - which wasn’t easy with the man bearing down on him so suddenly. There was so much to think about— “Can I ask, uhm... _Why_?”

“ _Why_ ,” Connor repeated, sounding exasperated. But then, he added, “Why I want you?”

Evan nodded meekly, and Connor blew air through his nose. When his gaze settled back on the boy, he stared, studying for a long minute. Finally, he said, “You put a collar on for me because you thought it was respectful. Do you realize how fucking hot that is? You called yourself a ‘pet deer’. Are you _kidding?_ _That’s the cutest shit_. Where are the adoption papers? I’ll sign--”

“Shh- You- Don’t need to sign anything-” Evan lifted his hands, intending to cover Connor’s mouth to keep him from talking. But when the man shut right up, his eyes wide and gleaming with youth, Evan settled for cupping his face instead. They fit together like puzzle pieces. “...You could have anyone else.”

Connor’s lips curled, and he shook his head slightly. “I don’t know,” he sighed, “Can I tell you a secret? I feel like you can handle a secret.”

Evan blinked in surprise. He did not agree, but he found himself nodding.

Another pause followed, and Connor reeled back. “I’m tired of hunting around for it, I think. It’s like- I’m not looking for a relationship, but I still want... _that_ . _Y’know-?_ ” He shrugged. “‘Someone to keep the bed warm’ or whatever. And I want to know it’s gonna be the same person each time, so...There’s at least something to build off of, and, I guess- Something or- some _one_ I can trust to be as much into The Weird as I am. If that makes any sense.”

It probably did, but as far as Evan was concerned, he didn’t have enough experience to make a judgment. Instead, he offered the closest thing he could relate to: “Like a friend?”

That made Connor laugh. “Sure, _like_ a friend, but...I don’t know. It’s been so goddamn long since I’ve had one, I couldn’t even tell you what the difference is.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, combed a hand through his hair. “All I know is that it’d be nice to have someone willing to wear a collar for me and follow simple orders...But who also wouldn’t mind getting coffee or hanging out without there being any kind of pressure. Is that too much to ask?”

It was Evan’s turn to lean toward Connor’s side. He traced the patterns of his camo with a fingertip, just for a reason to touch him. “What if…” he muttered, “If there was a day, or...a few days where you wanted to have sex, and I didn’t. What would happen?”

“Then we wouldn’t have sex?” Connor replied, raising a brow. “Not like I’d get mad. _Ideally_ , it’d just be a Whenever We Both Feel Like It thing.”

Well, that was assuring. Evan’s absent tracing became an intent grasp at Connor’s sweater. “Okay.”

“' _Okay’?_ ”

“I’ll wear the collar,” he said, “And hang out with you. I want to hang out with you.”

“And sleep with me?”

“Yes.”

“ _Wow—”_ And Connor smiled like he couldn’t believe it. “I’m that lucky, huh?”

Evan laughed because he couldn’t believe that someone would consider being stuck with him "lucky". It came so much of a shock that he forgot he was, in fact, a certifiable wimp and nodded to the backseat. “Do you still want me to, _uhm—_ ” 

“ _Yeah_. Get your sexy ass back there, Bambi.”

“You- You did _not_ just say that!”

A bold smirk smeared Connor’s lips, and he turned his keys in the ignition. “Say what?” 

Before the man could have a chance at taking pride in Evan’s red face, the blond climbed to the back of the car. He wrestled to get out of his onesie while Connor brought them to the last row of the lot. He’d managed to get it tangled around his ankles, laying on his back, when he caught a glimpse of the other reaching for something in the glove compartment. 

The next minute, Connor was opening the door Evan propped his feet against. He put aside a small bottle and a wrapped condom to help him down to his boxers.

A rush of autumn air entered the car, and Evan whined, shivering, “Close the door, it’s cold.” He yelped when the response was a heap of camo to the face. A topless Connor climbed in between his legs, shutting the door behind him, while Evan hurried to put his sweater on. 

“You weren’t wearing anything else underneath that?” 

 _“Well-”_ Comfortable from the waist up, the boy tried to angle his legs to give Connor optimal space and not potentially kick him. “...No?”

Connor rolled his eyes and tucked his hair behind his ear. Time seemed to slow as he lowered himself onto Evan. The boy tilted his head back as the other’s lips aimed for his jaw, trailing down to his neck. “You’re so fucking cute.” He focused on one area, right near his shoulder, and Evan hooked his fingers into raven hair to make sure he didn’t move away from it. Whatever nerve the man was kissing on must’ve been a magical one - it sent heat directly to his core. The second he dragged his tongue over it, Evan gasped.

“ _Connor—”_

Without giving him a chance to recover, Connor licked again, and then, sunk his teeth in. He started careful, nibbling as lightly as Evan bit at his own lip to contain himself. Little by little, it became more deliberate, and soon, Evan was audibly whimpering as he scratched at Connor’s scalp, hissing, “Ow- _Oww—”_

Connor stopped instantly, switching to soothe the bruised skin with his tongue while Evan recuperated, graciously stroking his hair. Before the man moved on, he tended to the opposite side of Evan’s neck, repeating a similar process. Less harsh but more frequent bites. 

Still clothed, yet Evan already felt claimed.

When Connor’s fingertips fell to his thigh, his heart leapt at the chance for that to change. The touch, however, was featherlike, and Evan had to struggle to stay still. Teasingly, the man grazed between his legs, played with the hems of his boxers - swept anywhere but where Evan needed him most. He could only take so much unfairness. 

The next time Connor neared his bulge, the boy lifted his hips, ensuring it would be cradled in the other’s palm as he whined, “ _Please_.”

“Needy,” came the gravelly response, accompanied by a delicate squeeze to his package. A chaste kiss graced his cheek.

Evan was on his way to melting. He mumbled, curling Connor’s hair around his fingers, “Aren’t you?”

The raven lifted his head, and the two shared a smile. 

Moments later, both were nude from the waist down (Evan refused to give up Connor’s sweater; it was a wonder the man wasn’t freezing). His legs were spread wide, and he anticipated Connor to get right to lubing his fingers, stretching him on his own -

He blinked when three fingers pressed light against his lower lip instead. 

_“Open.”_

He took them in one at a time, caressing them with his tongue and inviting them further. Though his eyes were in a sort of half-lidded daze, he could sense Connor’s searing into him, fueling that pre-existing fire under his skin. There were whispers of “ _Good boy_ ” and “ _Fuck yeah, that’s it_ ” that encouraged him to suckle, coating the digits in as much saliva as he could produce. He swallowed again and again, only to feel a twinge of disappointment when Connor pulled out without anything to show for it.

Fortunately, that disappointment was swiftly turned to relief as those same fingers, one by one, filled up Evan’s other hole. He hissed and groaned until Connor stole his sounds with a kiss; he wrapped his arms around his neck, not wanting it to end while the man fumbled with himself below. 

One second, he felt the stroke of fingers inside him, and the next, he realized both of Connor’s hands had a grasp on his legs. He gritted his teeth and held on tight as something thicker began sliding into him. “A-Ah.. _Slowly-_ slowly—”

Connor held his breath and eased himself in as gradually as possible, something Evan greatly appreciated. It took a few minutes of patience - made sweet by more kisses and nuzzling their faces together - but eventually, Connor bottomed out, Evan adjusted, and the two could begin moving. 

Everything seemed so in sync. From the way they looked into each other’s eyes, to the simultaneous rise and fall of their chests - to Evan’s hips lifting to meet each thrust. For a while, they moved as one. Even when Connor began to really pick up the pace, Evan shamelessly bucked his hips, desperate to keep rhythm. At least until he was left panting, and the energy was soon spent. 

“Still chilly?” Connor purred, smoothing the blond’s sweat-slicked hair back.

Evan giggled, and he leaned into the hand. His voice was so thin- “I’m fine- _comfortable_. Very comfortable--”

Connor’s grin widened. As if to add to that Comfort, he gave a particularly direct thrust that had the boy seeing stars. “ _Oh my god.”_

He was pulled into another passionate kiss, one where Connor still had to put a hand to his cheek to guide the mess that was his tongue and lips. There was biting and sucking until Evan’s mouth felt swollen, but there was also pride swelling in his chest when he raked his nails over the man’s inked shoulders, earning a moan. He continued, and the reward was Connor using him rougher, faster. His head was spinning. And then it was colliding with the door behind him. _“Ow!”_

“ _Shit_ ,” Connor grumbled, failing to hide his laughter, “Sorry.” 

Evan pouted, but luckily the pleasure was too great to notice the pain for long. “Carefuull..”

“I’m trying, baby, I promise. You just feel so fucking _good_.”

Watching the man’s body work, Evan wasn’t sure that first part was true. In a moment of clarity, he started to notice something else: “Connor, the car—”

It was moving along with them, rocking with Connor’s thrusts. He paused briefly, looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar - before decidedly shrugging and pursuing his mission of turning Evan into nothing more than a panting, whimpering toy. “So?”

“ _Connor!_ ”

He heard laughter. Not Connor’s. Not his. A group of voices, laughing. And hollering. He heard it on the other side of the door. His face paled with the realization. _Someone_ was outside. His body nearly went limp.

Again, Connor paused, his eyes like daggers as he glared out the window. Evan tried to pull him down, but the man wouldn’t budge. “The windows are tinted,” he said calmly. Then, with his smirk returning- “They don’t know who’s in here.”

Evan trembled, and Connor wrapped his arms securely around him. He rolled his hips, whispered in the boy’s ear, “They want a show? Let’s give them a show. Don’t hold back.”

And then Connor was pounding into him once again, and as embarrassed as he was, it was impossible to be silent. He thought he heard cheering and knocking on the car- but all he needed was the other telling him how much of a Good Boy he was to make him cry out that much louder. It was all so _much._

Whether he and Connor were drowning out their sounds, or the intruders were fading into the night - Evan couldn’t tell. It didn’t really matter. It felt more private, and that was all the boy needed when his body finally had _too_ much. 

His fingers knotted in raven hair, and his hips jolted erratically. Connor took pity, enveloping his hand around Evan’s cock. It didn’t take much to milk him through, but the boy was sure to thank him over and over - even when he had nothing left and Connor was the one reaching his limit inside of him.

Everything after moved on in a haze. He must’ve cried tears at some point because Connor dutifully wiped at his cheeks and kissed his eyes. Somehow, Evan ended up back in his onesie. He was sweaty and sticky, but it was soft and cozy to cuddle up to the man in the backseat. The window was cracked down so the other could blow out smoke from a cigarette. He still opted not to put his sweater on. A wonder to Evan still, but a worry he thought about less the more mesmerized he became with his chest.

For some reason, he asked, his voice still hoarse, if he ever planned to get another tattoo. Connor already had them on his back, so logically the next step would be his chest, right? 

Whether he followed or not, the man chuckled, holding Evan closer. No, he didn’t have any plans - what about him?

No. Evan explained it was impossible - he’d never be able to decide on one thing he could be content with for the rest of his life. He always thought the watercolor ones were pretty, though.

 _“Alright,”_ Connor spoke in a way that sounded urgent. A tone that had Evan ready to apologize for something done wrong. He said, “Are we okay now? No more bullshit? I want you, and I assume...you want me. I'm getting this right?”

Evan perked up, nodding quickly. “Yes! I- I like this. A lot. I want to do this more. And the- hanging out. I’d be really happy with that.”

Connor eyed him skeptically, flung out his cigarette, and rolled the window up. “You kinda said the same thing last time.”

“Before,” Evan stammered, “Before I started being weird—”

“ _Dude._ You were weird from the beginning. It’s fine.” 

“Okay,” Evan sighed, trying to relax again, “As long as you're okay with it.”

There wasn’t much left to be said after that. Without any more questions, they had come to a silent agreement. 

Connor eventually returned to the driver’s seat and brought them back to the entrance of Evan’s building. There hadn’t been another car or soul in the lot. 

They shared a final hug and a goodnight kiss before parting ways. Evan was halfway to his dorm when he realized his collar was still in the car.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone for 2k hits!  
> Edit: There will not be any noncon or dubcon whatsoever in this fic. Although, it may seem like the latter is implied in this chapter, please keep in mind that it is merely Evan jumping to conclusions.

“--so there may or may not be a video of me going around where I’m moaning in the back of a car, but the thing is- I don’t know if I care? I mean...How would anyone know it was me, right? Like- I don’t even think I sound the way I usually do when I’m _In The Moment_.” 

So far, Evan had spent the morning rambling to Jared about the night before. He’d woken up smiling, thinking, _That actually happened_. He had no shame. He bragged about laser tag, how he made it through. Sure, he didn’t see half of what was going on, but he considered Not Crying a big win! He painted Connor a hero; not only did he kick total zombie butt, but he was also a genuinely Good Guy. He reached out to Evan for more than sex, he was sweet, funny, and _holy crap_ did he know how to put him on Cloud Nine.

Jared scrolled through his phone, and for a while, the only indication he gave that he at least heard Evan was the occasional _“Mhmm”_. That was normal. But being caught having sex in the back of a car was not typical Evan Hansen behavior, so the blond banked on _some_ other reaction. Something he could see as proof to himself that maybe he was getting braver. Changing.

Finally, Jared put his phone down, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. Boredly, he asked, “You’re gonna be seeing him more?”

“Yeah?”

The blankets shifted as Jared stiffly dragged himself out of bed. A moment too late, Evan realized his roommate was naked. He looked away, only to spare a glance when he prayed his mind had played a trick on him. But there it was. His heart sank.  

Jared had marks all across his neck and chest. And not just purple spots like Connor had left on Evan. _Ugly things_. Long, red lines and disturbing impressions on either side of his throat. He limped his way to a pile of clothes. “You’re not thinking that someone’s gonna notice? On the chance it gets out, and you’re the one riding his dick all of a sudden?”

Evan scrunched up his nose and pulled his knees closer to his chest. He hadn’t thought that. Because- Because what _were_ the chances? Jared had said it himself: Connor got around. By the time anyone noticed Evan’s presence - which his presence was pretty much an attention repellent in itself - one could figure it was _anyone’s_ voice on the hypothetical recording _._ He shrugged and answered simply, “ _No_.”

Jared scoffed and finished dressing but stayed hunched against a wall. He looked like he was fighting not to crumble to a pile onto the floor. 

“Jared, are you okay--?”

“ _Fucking great,_ ” he spat, cracking a bitter smirk. He sucked in his breath, hobbling back to bed to lie on his stomach.  

Evan’s brows furrowed, and a frown tugged at his lips. “Maybe you should go to the nurse-”

“I’m _fine_ , _Evan_.” Jared went right back to his phone, tapping aggressively. “Just _enjoying the afterglow_.”

Though it wasn’t hard to guess, that confirmed Evan’s horror. He hopped off of his bed and scurried to Jared’s side, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder despite his better judgement. “Who was it? We can report them-”

“Alright, chill the fuck out,” Jared grumbled, immediately brushing the hand away. “It wasn’t anything I didn’t ask for, just—” He sank further into the bed, further away from Evan. “Not what I expected. Don’t know what the big deal’s supposed to be.”

Evan stood awkwardly. The best thing he could do, he thought, was keep his mouth shut. Probably there wasn’t a big deal. At least, the biggest change Evan got out of being with Connor was gaining a friend, and if that was something Jared missed out on, he would gladly be twice the friend moving forward. He didn’t intend to back away.

Except there wasn’t anything friendly about the way Jared’s gaze flickered back and forth between Evan and his phone, each glance more annoyed than the last. It wasn’t long before he snapped, “Do you _mind?”_

Only at that point did Evan feel obligated to retreat a step, not letting himself be hurt. Jared was the one hurting. “Sorry,” he said softly, “You know I worry.”

“Yeah, well- _don’t_ ,” Jared muttered, “It’s over. It’s done with. I’m fine. Go see your new boyfriend or something.”

Evan bristled, quickly correcting him, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“ _Right_ ,” said Jared, “Yeah, come to think of it, you’re more like- his prostitute.”

It knocked Evan’s breath right out of him, punched him into laughing. “Okay, that’s...I’m allowed to sleep with someone, Jared. If I were- _that_ , you would be too.”

“ _No,_ actually.” There was an audible _thump_ as the boy slammed his phone back into his mattress. He whirled around to face Evan, glaring him down. “Because _I_ didn’t get any money out of it. Can you say the same?”

The blond shrunk in front of him, not fully understanding what he was hearing. “But that’s-” he fumbled, “That’s not fair. If I waited, it’d be the opposite—“

“You really think I’d ask for your money?” Jared’s face was utterly devoid of amusement or sarcasm. The bags under his eyes seemed so dark up close. “You actually believed I thought you had _anything_ to give me?”

A lump was forming in Evan’s throat, preventing him from speaking.

Jared brushed right past him, making a grab for his backpack. “Does he know?”

Evan was still processing. He looked to Jared for clarification.

“That you slept with him for money?”

He tried swallowing the lump and nearly choked on it. He shook his head.

“Of course not.”

With that, Jared exited the dorm, and Evan was left alone.

He waited a little while before gathering the courage to text Connor. 

    ‘Can I come over? I’m not expecting anything, but I could use the company if that’s okay. If not, I still hope you’re having a good day.’

He received a reply in minutes: 

    ‘Sure.’

Not the most heartfelt response, but what more could he ask for? 

Evan put on a turtleneck to ensure his hickeys were hidden and headed for Connor’s building.

When he arrived at the room, the door was already cracked open. He knocked, peeked inside, and found Connor in his desk chair, swivelling around to face him.

“Hey-” His tone was light as he discarded a pair of headphones. “You barely gave me time to miss you.”

Evan smiled shakily and stepped in, closing and slumping on the door behind him. “Sorry, I-” he inhaled, sharp. “My roommate and I...had an _argument_ , I guess?” ‘Argument’ seemed like a safe way to word it. “And- I don’t have any other friends, but I didn’t want to be alone so…” He gave a weak show of Jazz Hands. “ _Here I am_.”

Amusement played on Connor’s lips, but in his eyes? Pity. Without question. How selfless of him to even _consider_ suggesting, “Do you need to talk about it?”

Evan swiftly shook his head. “I’d rather not? If that’s okay? I think I just need a distraction- _not_ that it’s your job to _be_ that- Literally, you can ignore me, and I’ll be on my phone if that’s easier. _”_

“If I said you could come over just to ignore you, that’d be pretty shitty of me,” was Connor’s immediate response.

Evan started to assure him _“No, it really wouldn’t be-”_ but gave up as the man beckoned him with a finger. He pouted and crossed to stand right in front of him.

Connor wasted no time grabbing him by the hips, pulling him into his lap. More or less, anyway. Evan was still holding himself up, conscious of his weight. Connor, unfortunately, was not oblivious. _“Relax,_ will you?”

“Uhm- yeah, that word’s really not in my dictionary, so-”

“ _Sit_.”

“But—”

Connor jerked him forward from his knees, and Evan had to cling to him for a sense of balance. The chair did not tip or break - although, his worries did not end there. “You’re sure I’m not too heavy?”

“You’re _fine_.” Connor rubbed at his thighs. Maybe he wasn’t ‘relaxed’, but it was comforting enough to draw him chest to chest. Graceful hands continued up his sides, and Evan sucked in his stomach as they passed over his curves. “But even if you were,” Connor said, “I wouldn’t consider that a bad thing.”

Evan scoffed, “What if I- crushed your legs?”

“ _Eh._ I’ve been meaning to get rid of them.” 

“ _You-_ ” The boy brushed Connor’s bangs back to get a good look in his eyes. His irises were tinted blue from the natural light of a nearby window, and what he thought was pity was overshadowed by infatuation. The raven smiled up at him, and Evan found it irresistible to return the favor. “You’re a little strange.”

“ _Told you_.”

The boy rolled his eyes, and in the process, caught a flash of motion. Behind Connor, on his desk, was a video still playing on his phone. “What were you watching?” He reached out to pause it, freezing a toothbrush-wielding young woman. The title of the video showed up on its own:

Deepthroat Training Guide.

The hair on his neck started to rise.

“Nothing.” Connor twisted around to flip the phone screen down. “Stuff to pass the time.”

“Is that for me?”

“Hm?”

Leaning back to look into Connor’s eyes once again, Evan almost second-guessed himself. He appeared so utterly clueless. 

“Were you going to- ‘train’ me?”

The man’s brows furrowed, and his lips parted with some hesitation. Before he could get a word out, Evan closed the distance, kissing him. It was soft, of course - almost too simple. Though Connor held firmly to his hips, he wasn’t kissing back. He didn’t move his lips at all until Evan withdrew. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, “You said you weren’t expecting anything, and I wasn’t sure what to do with you…I didn’t think you were going to be upset-”

“I’m not upset.” Connor raised a brow, and Evan managed his most convincing smile, aloof but genuine. It was the truth. What did he have to be upset about when a handsome devil of a man insisted on having him in his lap? He placed a kiss, coy, onto his nose. “Is that what you wanted to do with me, Connor?” He could feel his face heat up as the reality of the other’s intentions set in with each word. “You wanted me to give you a blowjob?”

Connor lifted a hand to his face, and Evan felt a familiar spark of pride at noticing him blush through his fingers. “You make it sound so innocent.”

Evan pouted, but that got him considering: what _wasn’t_ so innocent about it? He remembered how entranced the man had been having his fingers sucked, all the praise that earned him. The bliss it gave them both, something so simple. Why should another body part be anymore lewd?

Testing the waters, he gathered up his bravery and rocked down into Connor’s lap. “I’ll do it,” he said, “I want to do it.”

There was a brief debate in the man’s head, but seconds later, he was bouncing a leg beneath Evan. “Alright. On your knees.”

The blond gleamed with satisfaction and slid onto the floor. One hand combed through his hair while the other unzipped Connor’s jeans. The next thing Evan knew, his semi-stiff cock was aimed inches from his face.

“No rush,” Connor said gently, “Do whatever feels right. Just- don’t use your teeth.”

A faint giggle slipped past Evan’s lips as he wrapped his fingers around the base of the cock. He had some ideas based on what he thought would feel good on himself, but surely none of them involved his teeth. On the contrary, he decided to start with a tender, appreciative approach - for being given power at all. 

With eyes closed, Evan took his time placing delicate kisses along Connor’s shaft. It brushed against his cheek, and though he didn’t doubt it was strange, he felt inclined to nuzzle against it. Breathing in Connor’s musk so deep made him parched, and it wasn’t long until his tongue flicked out on its own, licking up the cock like a popsicle. 

Connor hummed his approval, continuing to pet him, and Evan made it his job to wet the member from base to tip, still sprinkling kisses here and there. Even if he couldn’t fit it all down his throat, he wanted to be positive every inch received due attention. The man had used every inch to please him, after all.

“Focused much?” 

Evan flushed and paused to look up at Connor smirking down at him. “I want to do good…”

“You’re too fucking sweet.” His hair was ruffled only to be smoothed right back into place. “You’re doing great. Don’t think about it so much.” 

 _Easier said than done_.

But Connor was already praising him, and he didn’t want to give him a reason to take it back.

He closed his eyes again-

“ _Hey._ ”

Right back to Connor. The man tilted Evan’s head back, and suddenly, he felt very small there on his knees.

“Look at me when you blow me.”

His cheeks burned an awful amount. He swallowed, fearing his throat would go dry. Somehow, he managed to make a peep- “I won’t look weird?”

Connor leaned forward, kissing Evan’s forehead. Then, he whispered into his ear, sounding so confident, “You’ll look stunning.”

Evan doubted that. Highly. But how could a person be told that and _not_ melt altogether, suspending their belief just for a moment? Especially when all he needed was a moment to open his mouth wide and cover the head of Connor’s cock.

Content, Connor sighed and relaxed into his chair, keeping his eyes locked on Evan’s. His stage fright didn’t last long; it was a nice view, and judging by the man’s glazed over greys, he must’ve enjoyed the sight too.

Lips curling around the cock, Evan continued to take in more. He tried to imagine his throat opening up, tried to psyche himself up to fit the entire length into his mouth - He hardly got halfway when his breath began to quicken. A test, a little bit more, and he nearly gagged. 

“That’s okay,” Connor told him, somewhat rushed. He thumbed over the boy’s cheek. “That’s enough. Keep going.”

Evan’s brows furrowed, but he breathed in deep and started to bob his head slowly. He didn’t try to go further than half the length; his only focuses were keeping his lips full, his teeth undetectable, and his tongue slick, gradually making the task more and more seamless. He didn’t even realize he was actively sucking him until Connor bit his lip, exhaled a few helpless swears, and tightened his grip on Evan’s hair. Correction: Connor looked stunning.

His cock felt like it was weighing heavier with each pump, its veins becoming increasingly prominent whenever Evan traced them with his tongue. It became increasingly difficult to even take in half as it neared his throat, and he couldn’t ignore how much it was throbbing. 

 _Breathe_ \- he reminded himself until it was his only concern and everything else fell into a rhythm. He bobbed his head faster, saliva dripped down his chin; his lips swelled from sucking, and when Connor flashed his teeth, he’d wish they were digging into him, devouring him.

He needed some form of his own relief. His eyes slipped shut, and without fault, he lowered a hand to unbutton his pants. Taking hold of his dick, he attempted to stroke it in sync with his mouth. 

“ _Stop_.”

It was so guttural and commanding, Evan froze completely, going wide-eyed as the color drained from his face. Connor’s stones were narrow, but there was little doubt he was biting his cheek to hide a smirk. “What’re you doing?”

Evan slid off carefully, his mouth still hanging agape. “I- Uhm- Sorry? Was that- not good-?”

“ _That’s_ no good.” Evan blinked as Connor pointed - right down to his crotch, where his fingers stayed wrapped around his dick. “Don't you trust me to take care of you?”

Evan scrambled to fix his pants, tucking himself in. He may have retreated if not for Connor grabbing him by the chin, demanding his gaze once again.

“If we’re going to make this a regular arrangement,” the man growled, bringing their faces inches apart, “I have a few rules. Rule number one: I’m the only person that can get you off. Not any other guy, not even you. Sound fair?”

Evan wasn’t sure if ‘fair’ was the word he would use, but it certainly didn’t sound negotiable. Considering it, though - he didn’t really mind. He’d never had someone act possessive over him before. Never suspected he’d be worth the trouble.

Curiosity be damned, he nodded, deciding to play along. “Yes, sir.”

He questioned if it was possible for Connor to be happier or hornier. 

The man patted his cheek and purred, “That’s what I like to hear.” He straightened up, urging Evan closer to his dick. Not that he needed to use much force.

Evan gladly took him into his mouth again, eagerly sucking and bobbing his head. Connor rested a hand on the back of his neck all the same, helping to guide him through the motion, never letting him pull too far away. And that was fine - because soon, all Evan could care about was getting Connor off. He didn’t want to look away. Not when Connor’s eyes were hooded with lust and desire, all the while licking his lips between grunts and moans. It wasn’t long before his hips started jerking either. Which left even less time for Evan to realize he was stuck.

Suddenly, the hand became stiff, keeping him in place. He tried gulping for air. He was treated with a thick stream of cum instead.

The instant Connor released his grip on him, he was sitting back, coughing. His jaw ached a little. 

“Sorry,” Connor muttered, fixing his jeans around his waist. “Probably should’ve warned you.”

Wiping his mouth, Evan managed a smile for assurance. A warning might’ve been nice, but he was flattered by his urgency too. Realizing he had Connor so caught up in the moment that he’d forgotten to speak up - he felt kind of special.

“I hope it was okay,” Evan said, getting to his feet.

Connor grinned right back at him. “Better than I expected. And for swallowing..?” His gaze flickered down to Evan’s crotch. The boy clasped his hands behind his back, remembering Connor’s rule. He was surprised when he finished, “I think you deserve a reward.”

Before Evan could formulate a response, he was being led to the bed. Connor told him to lay down, and he did. Cotton-filled blankets felt like a cloud beneath his back and bottom (especially) when his pants and boxers were diligently removed. 

There was heat in his face, but similarly to their encounter in the car, he was chilly from the waist down. Connor lowered himself between the boy’s thighs, and Evan inched as close as possible to make up for the warmth, legs hooking over the other’s shoulders. 

He tried to keep eye contact - didn’t suspect a switch in position would be much different. Except what Connor soon proved was his ability to pump him with his hand _and_ mouth at the same time, both while piercing Evan with an intense, predatory stare. He couldn’t help but be intimidated into closing his eyes. Luckily, he got away without the man scolding him for it. 

But eliminate one sense, and the rest become heightened. He couldn’t stay still or keep quiet - Connor’s tongue wouldn’t let him. He felt it everywhere on his cock - swirling and dragging and tracing over invisible patterns. Nimble fingers followed along, twisting and prodding so gently but so effectively that Evan’s hands flew to raven locks, holding on for dear life. It was a sultry, smooth massage as Connor sucked and slurped his entire length, something the boy didn’t notice until his navel was tickled by fringe and Connor’s nose. _This_ , he thought, determined, _Is what I have to learn for him._

His words were less coherent, and even Evan lost track of what he was saying. Something along the lines of _“Please don’t stop”_ and _“Thank you”_ and _“Oh my god - your mouth”_ . Eventually, it all molded into one word: _“Connor”,_ and he repeated it over and over again. Whimpered it, whined it, sang it - _cried it_ with hips thrashing against the man’s face.

Strong hands had to hold him down at the waist - bruises in the making. But then Evan began to choke up - an urge, he worried, Connor would have to fight as he silently swallowed every last drop out of him.

Unlike Evan, he didn't retreat the first chance he got. He continued. He massaged him with his mouth, swirling his tongue around and around his tip. The longer he persisted, the more Evan trembled; the odder the sensation at his core grew, the more it felt like shockwaves surging through his cock. There came a point Evan had to start pushing Connor away- _“Please- Stop- Too much, too much-”_

Connor popped off readily, snickering to himself. “Sorry. Wanted to make sure I got it all.” He climbed out of bed then, and Evan was about to ask where he was going before noticing he was taking his laptop from his desk. He came right back, fortunately, reclining against the pillows with the device in his lap. Evan fixed the blankets to cover his legs, still somewhat recovering. He curled up to him as the Netflix homepage filled the screen. “What do you like to watch?”

They decided on _Parks and Recreation_ because that seemed like a safe bet to Evan. Lighthearted, didn’t require much investment - almost everyone had a neutral opinion on it. Connor didn’t seem to mind. 

They got through a few episodes with Evan dozing off here and there. Each time he would open his eyes, Connor would smile down at him, brushing against his arm. Not much was said, and neither of them tried to start a conversation, but it was okay. It was comfortable.

Inevitably, they came to the end of another episode to find that the sun had gone down. Both still had assignments to finish, and both had an early class the next morning. 

Neither moved from their spot without exchanging a few more passionate kisses. 

Once redressed, Evan thanked Connor for his time. Connor assured him not to mention it. He would see him again soon.

On his way back to the dorm, Evan stopped at an ATM. He withdrew $100.

He incited no greeting upon entering the room, didn’t even lift his gaze from the floor - just placed the amount onto Jared’s nightstand and turned to his bed.

“ _Keep it._ ”

He froze, and his friend heaved a sigh, closing his laptop. 

“I’m sorry—"

“You need it more than I do.” Evan dared a glance to find Jared handing it back to him. “Take it.”

He stared, frozen, until he realized the other wasn’t going to budge. 

So he took the money before Jared would have to tire his arm out. While their hands still touched, Evan pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you.”

The reluctance couldn’t have been more clear, but Jared did wrap his arms loosely around Evan in return. “You wanna grab dinner? Your treat?”

“Yes!” Evan exclaimed, eager for an opportunity to redeem himself, “Yes, I definitely do!”

They ended up at Waffle House. 

Over diabetic-inducing food and unwashed dishes, Jared updated Evan on spending his day in Urgent Care. No, he didn’t test positive for anything, and _no, Evan,_ it wasn’t nonconsensual. He’d expected it to feel a certain way and when it didn’t, demanded it harder, faster, rougher.

Evan said he was sorry.

Jared shrugged, piling hashbrowns into his mouth. “Back to whacking it to hentai. That’s all.”


	10. Chapter 10

Jared got a job!

“I’m the new bouncer of this joint.” An interesting way to say _resident receptionist_ , for sure, but Evan was excited for him! Not only did it mean income for Jared that wasn’t from his parents, something to add to his resume-

It gave Evan more time to have the dorm to himself. All the more time to spend texting Connor without fear of being caught laughing, blushing, or taking selfies when their conversations turned heated. Evidently, Connor had been serious about not letting Evan touch himself - he needed the pictures as proof he hadn’t. And he didn’t. 

But there were a lot of cold showers that week.

Judging by the direction of their most recent discussion - where Evan admitted he’d be willing to try the leash again - he took the initiative to ready his camera. Another text rolled across the top of the screen as he positioned himself on his bed, legs crossed. It wasn’t a request for a picture.

> ‘I have a present for you.’

Evan watched his own eyes widen.

> ‘Huh??? You didn’t have to get me anything…’
> 
> ‘Too late now. Come over.’

He was out of the dorm as fast as could be, putting a beanie over his head when he passed Jared in the lobby.

One knock on Connor’s door was all it took to get it swinging open. He barely caught a glimpse of the man as he was pulled in, zero chance for _hello_ when passionate lips were suddenly claiming his own.

Sudden, but not unwelcome. Evan smiled into the kiss, stood on his toes, and wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck to keep steady. A much sturdier grasp held his waist, guaranteeing he wouldn’t be going anywhere. 

“I missed you,” he sighed. Connor broke away to kiss down his neck.

“Quit working,” he whispered, giving a playful nip, “We can spend every night together.”

Evan giggled, nuzzling into his hair. “I _can’t_. Besides- You’ll get tired of me if you see me every night.”

“Impossible.” Connor pulled back enough for Evan to finally see his face, and once again, he found himself wondering, _What does someone like you see in me?_ But then, the man asked, “Who could get tired of a precious young buck like you?”

 _Buck?_ Even without his onesie?

Evan scoffed, leaning away. “Let’s see- my parents, my professors, my ‘best friend’—“ He cut off, gasping, as a hand gripped his ass.

Connor smirked and muttered against his ear, “ _Why_ do I get the feeling they don’t know what they’re missing?” 

Evan huffed and nestled closer, silencing any sounds that might have bubbled up as Connor continued to knead him. It was pathetic - how easily he gave in and stuck himself out for the other. His pants grew tighter in the front, but Connor had no trouble sliding a hand down the back of his boxers, teasing a finger between his cheeks.

“Who else has touched you?”

“No one, sir,” Evan answered honestly. “I’ve been saving myself for you.”

“Yeah?” The man slipped off Evan’s beanie and nipped at his ear. “Tell me why.”

“ _Because-“_  He exhaled shakily. “Because I’m- I want to be good.”

Connor chuckled deep in his throat. Evan did his best to stay quiet as the other retracted his hand, leaving his ass alone in favor of taking his jacket off for him. It became more of a challenge when he realized he wasn’t stopping there. Chilled fingertips grazed his waist, and next, his sweater was lifted over his head. He didn’t have any time to question it before Connor was on his knees, tugging down Evan’s pants.

“From now on,” he said, looking up at him. Evan balanced himself holding onto his shoulders. “The minute you walk in here, this is how I want you. Got it?”

Evan nodded, albeit hesitantly, and Connor snapped the elastic on his underwear. He whimpered, _“Yes, sir.”_

Connor grinned and kissed his hip. “Perfect.” He gave his butt a gentle smack. “You wanna be a good boy? Go sit on the bed so I can give you your present.”

Evan didn’t need to be told twice. Down to his socks and boxers, he hurried to have a seat, criss-cross-apple-sauce. 

Connor grabbed a little white box from his desk. Bringing it to him, Evan could see it was sealed with a red ribbon. He was almost inclined to reject it right away. It reminded him of something out of jeweler commercial - the type of package one would present a necklace or bracelet or watch to their significant other in. Something much too fancy for him, the mere Beneficial Sort of Friend.

It was harder to decline when it was placed in his hand. Impossible with Connor’s command, “Open it.”

He flashed a weary smile, the words ‘I can’t accept this’ already on the tip of his tongue. He opened the box.

“I figured it should be personal... _If_ it was something you still wanted.”

Well, it wasn’t diamonds. But it did appear to be leather. A fine strip of it. Brown. And with a tiny silver charm, monogrammed _E_. Not a collar you would find at PetSmart, most likely. 

“The back of the tag has my dorm on it. So, if you ever get ‘lost’...”

Evan picked it up and sure enough, behind the E - “Hanover, 239.” ‘ _You didn’t have to’_ seemed like the polite thing to say at that point, but he had said it already, so he knew Connor’s answer. It was too late. _This_ was his collar. “Thank you,” he said in earnest. Connor beamed. “I hope it didn’t cost too much.”

The man waved his hand dismissively. “Pocket change.” Then, he was gesturing to it, and to Evan’s neck. “May I?”

Evan offered it to him, and Connor helped fasten the collar on with a golden buckle. It wasn’t at all tight. The silver tag rested above his sternum, and Evan puffed his chest so it could show itself off. “How does it look?”

Sitting beside him, Connor dug out his phone out placed it into smaller hands. “See for yourself.”

The front camera was quick to remind Evan how very topless he was. He shrunk back from his own reflection in an attempt to diminish the protruding appearance of his chest, tilted the phone so he would only have to see himself from the shoulders up. God forbid he caught a glimpse of the belly he knew was hanging over his boxers.

But the collar was nice, and it did look a bit more like a necklace. Sleek and discreet, yet - the more he looked, the less exposed he felt by it.

E. Hanover 239.

Not only had Connor dressed him in a collar. He dressed him with ownership.

“It’s- lovely?” He meant it. Even if he wasn’t. His doubt was whether or not ‘lovely’ could be applied to such an accessory. 

Evan turned to give the phone back. It slipped out of his hand, and he squeaked as Connor pulled him into his lap. 

“It is lovely,” he muttered, examining the tag. Evan watched him study it. His owner. 

His breath caught in his throat when their eyes happened to lock. 

A crooked smile adorned Connor’s face, and he tilted his head curiously. “Wonder how much lovelier it’d be if we put it to use.”

_“Use..?”_

“Well, if I all I wanted was something to connect us together, I could’ve gotten us friendship bracelets.” 

Evan tried not to flinch in the slightest. A friendship bracelet would’ve been really nice too—

His heart skipped a beat as Connor put a hand to his cheek, tucking his hair behind his ear. Chills racked that entire half of his body.

“If you’re willing to be my pet, I expect a little more than wearing a collar for me.”

Evan’s brows furrowed. “You mean…Being sexually available?”

Connor chuckled, seemingly happy that Evan wasn’t totally clueless. “ _Part_ of it, but- Well, you tell me. When you think about real pets- dogs, cats...What comes to mind?”

Evan chewed at his lip, and Connor lowered both hands to the boy’s hips to let him ponder undistracted. “That...They’re loyal? And they’ve got cute ears and tails?”

Connor’s smile reached all the way to his eyes. “Anything else?”

“They keep you company...They don’t judge you...They like tummy rubs and head scratches and sometimes they do tricks-”

“Yes! _Tricks_.” Connor lightly scratched his head, and Evan was very conscious of it. It felt nice of course, so he leaned into his touch. “How do you feel...about learning a few tricks for me?”

Evan hesitated, beginning to shift uneasily. “What kind..?”

Connor’s hand swept through his hair and scratched under his chin next. With a shrug, he said, “We could start with rolling over. _Oh,_ and then-” He inched away, reaching out toward his nightstand. Digging through the top drawer, he produced a bag of fruit snacks and showed it to Evan. “For every trick you do, I’ll give you two treats.” 

For a split second, he looked a little less confident. Like he had just realized he was asking another full-grown man to Roll Over for those treats. Was _this_ getting freaky in the sheets? He added, “ _If_ you’re okay with it.”

Well. Evan did like fruit snacks.

And maybe he couldn’t completely understand what the appeal was, but he couldn’t see it as being harmful either. 

Rolling over, maybe- playing dead? Sure. He could use the exercise.

Evan smiled and placed a kiss on Connor’s jaw. “Just- tell me what to do.” 

Confidence restored. Connor smirked, and there wasn’t a hint of uncertainty to betray him. “Alright then. _Kneel._ ”

Evan complied, kneeling right at his feet. Right away, Connor took two fruit snacks from the bag and held them to his lips. He beamed, but the instant he made a grab for them, the man stole them away. “ _Nu-uh,”_ he scolded, “No hands.”

Evan could sense a blush creeping on. He lowered his head, and Connor offered his hand again. This time, he scooped them up with his tongue. 

It earned him a light, pleasant scratch behind his ear. “Good buck.”

His smile turned shy at that. 

“Squat for me,” came the next command, “And hold your hands behind your back.”

Evan obeyed. And Connor brought a hand to his throat. He nearly lost balance, flinching away, but Connor’s touch remained fragile. All he did was tilt the boy’s head back for him, nose pointed toward the ceiling. A treat was placed on the tip.

“ _Hold. Ten_ ...nine _-“_ Evan’s thighs tensed and trembled as he struggled to keep his head still - _struggled_ not to let the treat fall. 

He really did need to exercise more. _“Five-“_ and Evan fell on his ass, the fruit snack rolling down his body and ricocheting under the bed. 

Embarrassed, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Connor. “Sorry...”

A hand reached out and once again, tilted his head for him. He met Connor’s eyes, and they were as sympathetic as could be. “You tried,” he muttered, stroking his cheek, “We’ll keep trying until you get it.”

His heart sank a little, not wanting to make an even bigger fool of himself just yet, but it picked up when instead, Connor told him, “Now. _Roll over._ ”

Laying down on the floor, he did so gladly - once to the left, once to the right. It definitely felt silly, but Connor looked so fond of him. So what if it was strange? It made the man happy. And if Evan could do that, then he was happy too.

Connor got onto the floor beside him, and Evan rolled onto his back. Presented with three treats, he opened his mouth, letting the other drop them in. “Thank you,” he said after swallowing.

“Switch?” Connor asked, gesturing to the bed, “Probably need the bounce for this next one.”

Curious as to what that could mean, Evan scrambled to climb up on the bed again. Connor rose to his feet. “If I told you to _kick_ ,” he said, “What would you think I meant?”

Evan considered it. Then, with legs hanging over the bed, he looked at Connor and began swinging his feet up and down.

The man chuckled, shaking his head. “No, not quite. Have you ever seen a _deer_ kick?”

Evan blinked and tried to search his memory. Nothing specific, but it was easy enough to imagine. “Like a horse’s kick?”

“More or less.” Connor got two more fruit snacks ready. “Give it a shot?” 

Getting on all fours, Evan gave the other an unsure glance before weakly kicking his legs back. Connor was right - the mattress did make him bounce a little. Awkward, but fun. The man didn’t correct him, so he tried again more purposefully, bringing his hands up to counter the spring on the way down.

 _“Perfect.”_ Connor offered him his treats, and Evan ate graciously from his hand. Each treat had been a sign of success. Something he could be proud of. 

He looked up, expecting another command, but only found Connor smirking down at him. “So,” he purred, stroking his hair, “If I told you to present yourself...How would you present to me?”

Evan pouted. That could mean anything, couldn't it? Walking through the door? Jazz hands and ‘ _ta-daa’_ ? Present _able_ by putting on his clothes?

“Hi, I’m Evan, and I’m Connor’s pet..?” Somehow, just saying it felt like it was the wrong option. Confirmed by Connor rolling his eyes.

“Turn around.”

Evan nodded and shifted to face the wall. _"This-"_ A hand pressed against his back, guiding his chest to the bed. A grasp on his hips followed, ensuring they stayed up. Next, his boxers were pulled down to his knees, and Evan turned bright red. "Is how you present yourself."

He'd never felt so vulnerable. His heart started to race.

“Don’t. Move.”

Evan gulped and watched from the corner of his eye as Connor rummaged through his nightstand. A part of him suspected this was coming, and that part of him prepared. 

Connor was going to take him from behind. He was going to fuck his face right into the mattress, hitting deep, probably. And Evan was going to let him because he was a good pet. Connor would be impressed, he bet. His only question was- how many treats would that earn him?

He exhaled, trying to calm himself as the man grabbed his bottle of lube. He kept searching though, and a second later, Evan discovered what for. It was fluffy, looking an awful lot like a deer’s tail, but where one might expect a clip - a silver butt plug was attached. 

Connor’s pants stayed on, and the plug was coated in strawberry-scented liquid. 

Evan’s mouth ran dry, and before he could think of anything to say, the man was behind him. Something very cold pressed against his entrance, and was slowly, _slowly_ inserted.

The first sound to leave Evan’s lips was a moan. 

“That’s fucking precious,” Connor purred, smoothing the tail out. “Mind if I take a picture?”

Evan lowered his ass, the best he could do to ‘hide’. High school horror stories came to the forefront of his mind. Rumors of nudes being leaked by jealous exes, those poor people being gossiped about for weeks.

Maybe people wouldn’t recognize his voice from the car, but—

But Connor was behind him. And there was a pillow right there to his left. He could cover his whole head. Even if it did get circulated, it wasn’t like anyone else knew what his bare ass looked like.

He breathed in and arched deep, hips raised as high as he could make them. It felt like the tail was standing straight up. “Go ahead,” he told him, grabbing the pillow, “Just don’t get my face. Please.”

Seconds later, he heard the snaps of Connor’s camera. He was curious as to what the man found so appealing, but then again, he certainly wasn’t brave enough to review the pictures himself. Finally, there was a pause, so he added, “Please don’t post them anywhere.” 

“Oh _no_ ,” Connor replied. Fingertips grazed up the back of Evan’s thigh, and he shivered. “I think if anyone else got this view, I wouldn’t feel as special as I do now.”

Evan smiled under the pillow. If Connor felt special, he wasn’t the only one. So badly he wanted to believe his words.

Before Evan could rest his head on top of the pillow rather than cower beneath it, it was plucked right out of his hands.

“Face me.”

He did. Sat up on his knees with his hands on his thighs. There wasn’t any use in covering his crotch at that point. 

Evan gasped but did his best to stay still while Connor stuffed the pillow between his legs. “I want you to grind for me,” he said in his deep, gravelly tone, “I want you to fuck that thing until you can’t move anymore. How ‘bout that?”

Another pout tugged at his lips, and he dared to look Connor in the eye. “Will you- fuck me after?”

Connor’s grin grew dangerously wider. “I would, buck.” His voice went from gravelly to patronizing. Sickeningly sweet. “But I know you don’t have the energy for two rounds yet. You can barely get through one without crying. Now, I got that tail special for you. You don’t have to thank me, but I would appreciate it if you showed me what it - _and you -_ can do. So could you? For me?” 

Evan couldn’t argue with that. And while he would’ve much preferred to have Connor than the tail, it did seem like a fair amount of money was spent on him. The last thing he wanted was to come across as ungrateful.

Wearing a timid smile, Evan nodded and balled his fists into the pillow. “I will, sir.” 

As Connor stood out of his reach, he closed his eyes and began moving his hips. It was such a soft feeling, and he could sense the cotton cushioning his balls with every thrust. It took a bit more effort to get the right friction for his cock, angling and aiming down to pretend it was something he could fuck into. Soon enough, he found a rhythm, and the moans came pouring from his lips. 

“You’re _adorable_.” Even Connor’s voice made him whimper. 

“A-Am I doing good?”

“Exactly what I wanted. You’re such a good buck, Ev.”

His face felt hot, but he smiled unabashedly. His grinding became more intent. The plug didn’t fill him all the way, but Evan cooed as he squeezed around it. His little tail.

“Think you can do that and listen?”

Blinking his eyes open, he was greeted to the handsome sight of Connor with his dick out. He stroked himself without reservation, and Evan was immediately embarrassed by the buildup of saliva in his mouth. Though seemingly ready to explode at any moment, the man still kept such a cool look about him. “L-Listen?”

“Mhm.” Through disheveled hair and pacing his fingers, he spoke, “ _Rules_. You’re not some wild thing anymore. Can’t have you thinking you can do whatever you want.”

Evan swallowed thick. “No, sir,” he said breathless, “We can’t have that.”

“Well then,” Connor hummed, “You know no one else is allowed to touch you-”

“Not even me.”

“Not even you - very good. That’s number one. Number two, you always wear your collar around me. So I know you’re mine.”

He was riding the pillow by that point. Much like he’d ridden Connor their first night. His breathing became labored. 

“Number - _mmm -_ three, keep yourself clean for me. _Fuck_. Four, absolutely no talking back. No insulting me, no being a brat.”

Evan nodded along. He looked up at Connor with the widest eyes he could manage, licking his lips over and over. The man had his cock aimed right at him. “Five..?”

 _“Number five,”_ Connor repeated, brushing bangs out of his eyes and struggling to catch his breath. “If you break _any_ of the other rules--” He closed the distance between them and palmed the back of Evan’s head, bringing him closer to his cock. The way his other hand continued to pump him had the boy mesmerized. Awestruck. It didn’t entirely register when he finished, “You _will_ face punishment.” 

Evan opened his mouth. His lips were wet and plump. He was so close to being able to give him oral. But each attempt, Connor would tug on his hair, preventing him. And that made him whine like a child. _“Connooorrr…”_

“Almost there, sweetheart,” he grunted, “Keep showing the pillow some love.”

Reluctant as he was, Evan’s grinding became more frantic. He couldn’t deny the wonderful sensation it brought - like fucking a cloud - and for a few minutes, that was what he put his focus on.

Connor, meanwhile, made the most beautiful sounds. Even if half of them were _“fuck”_ and _“shit”_ \- he sounded just as desperate as Evan. He wanted to tell him _you can do it_ , but before the boy could get a word out, Connor bellowed a moan. The hand on Evan’s head kept him in place, and stream after stream of cum painted his face and chest.

It felt like an honor.

Evan didn’t last much longer. He crooned, shuddering as the pillow became soaked between his legs. Even if it had been an order, it felt like he’d made an unnecessary mess. He whimpered, brows furrowing apologetically as he glanced up at Connor.

Panting, the man chuckled and ruffled blond hair. “If that’s not the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen.”

Evan resisted the urge to shy away. Instead, he cleared his throat and reached for Connor’s hand, so he could kiss his fingertips. “You have-  unorthodox tastes, I think.”

The man immediately scoffed. “Doesn’t matter. Still say you’re pretty.” He took his hand away, swiped a bit of cum from Evan’s cheek, and brought it to his lips. He licked it up obediently. 

No, he was in no mindset to argue.

Connor took the pillow away, and the clean up began. Evan laid down, recovering, while the other retrieved a damp washcloth, a water bottle, and most unexpected - a bag of grapes. 

He gulped the water down quickly, and he was permitted to eat as many grapes as he wanted while Connor wiped down his face, his chest, and any mess between his legs. He took the plug out, and Evan whined. That was definitely his least favorite part of this: being left empty.

He popped one grape in after another, and thankfully, it was no distraction to Connor when he slid in beside him, wrapping him up in his arms. It did, however, only last so long. 

He was having less and less energy bringing his hand to his mouth, less and less control of keeping his eyes open. He didn’t know when, but at some point, the bag was taken away, and any space between him and Connor was eliminated.

He didn’t mean to fall asleep in his bed. It just kind of happened.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is either really weak or really strong, I think.  
> I'll let you guys be the judge.
> 
> TW for implied self-harm at the end.

“Evan? Ev, slow down for a sec’- _Hey-_ “

The mug was pried from his hands, and Veronica continued making the latte, having to wipe caramel off from the sides. “Why don’t you stay up at the register, alright? Let me worry about making the orders. Would that work better for you?”

Evan swallowed a lump in his throat and smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in his apron. _He_ was the one that had to call her in at the start of the unexpected rush. It shouldn’t have been up to her to make accommodations for him. 

Evan, however, was selfish, and the idea alone lifted one of many weights from his shoulders. When his quaff-haired coworker glanced back for an answer, he nodded, skirting around her to place himself at the register. “Your latte is on the way, ma'am,” he said automatically. “Next?”

There were more latte orders, hot chocolates, and coffees, and though shaken, Evan was managing. A few “ _thank you for your patience_ ” were thrown in for courtesy, but nobody complained. 

While one customer collected their change, he turned to find his coworker moving back and forth. “How’re you doing, Ronnie?” 

“I’m fine, Ev.” Veronica bumped her hip into his as she brushed by. “Don’t worry about me. Just keep ‘em comin’.” 

Evan smiled and straightened his shoulders, ready for the next person in line. “Hello! What can I get for you?”

Grey eyes lifted off of a phone to lock with hazel. 

Evan’s heart skipped a beat, and Connor smirked. He didn’t know whether he wanted to run into his arms or runaway.

“Busy night?” the raven asked, scanning the menu overhead.

“Yeah, uhm-“ Evan cleared his throat. There was a pen on his keyboard that was slightly off center. He corrected it. “I think there was- a band or something that played nearby? Were you there?”

Connor shook his head, and his attention was back on the blond. “No. Came to see you.”

Evan bit the inside of his cheek and tugged idly on his ear. He glanced around to make sure Veronica was out of earshot, and when he spoke, it was only loud enough for Connor to hear, “Sorry, I’m- working?” Not sorry for making money, but sorry for not being more Easily Accessible? Yeah, that felt right.

“ _Pff,_ don’t be. I’m the one with too much time to kill.” Evan thought he caught a wink before the man looked over his shoulder. Two more people in line, but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it. “Can you do a black coffee?”

“Black coffee?” Evan grabbed his pen to write the order on a ticket for Veronica. “Coming right—“ He paused in speech and in writing in a single stroke of brilliance. “Actually—“ He crumpled the note, making Connor raise a brow at him. “If you’re willing to wait, I can bring it to you myself?”

Evan braced himself against the man’s gaze as it swept him up and down. A hint of a chuckle left his curled lips, and Connor said, “Fine by me.” He produced a debit card, but the second Evan spotted it, his hand flew to the card reader to cover it. He winced apologetically without Connor having to move a muscle.

“ _Go_. Sit,” the blond urged, “I’ve got it.” 

Despite Connor’s skeptical stare, the card was returned to his wallet. Something about his smirk seemed that much more mischievous as he turned to walk away. “Weirdo.”

The next person in line came forward.

Evan hurriedly got through the next few orders, scribbled them sloppily onto tickets and passed them off to Veronica. He’d hoped he didn’t come off as rude, but then again, he couldn’t say he cared about their opinions as much anymore.

Not when the man who called him ‘pet’ studied him from a table for two. 

Soon, the counter was clear in front of him, and Evan looked out at couples and groups of friends. They filled nearly every seat in the house, bantering, and by all accounts, having a good time. 

“We did it,” Veronica said, clapping his shoulder. It didn’t matter that her hand was dainty and well-manicured - Evan flinched anyway.

“Thanks to you.” He patted her back weakly, gathering his nerves so he could ask, “Would you mind if I took my break now?”

“Go for it!” Veronica was swift to put herself in front of him, fulfilling the task of adding change to the register.

Evan thanked her again, since it didn’t actually feel deserved, and slipped away to fill a mug with black coffee. All the while, he could swear he sensed Connor’s glare lingering on his back. Maybe, specifically, his backside.

His cheeks flushed, and he resisted the urge to wear his apron reversed. 

He ended up carrying two mugs to Connor’s table. One belonging to the other, and his, filled with peppermint tea. “I have 15 minutes.” Setting Connor’s coffee in front of him, Evan teetered with his own mug. “Thought you might like if I joined you?”

“You thought right.” Connor gestured eagerly to the chair across from him, and Evan, very cautious not to spill his drink, sat down. The raven went on, “So this is okay?” 

Evan’s eyes widened slightly, and he hesitated sipping his tea. “Is what okay?”

“Me showing up here.” Elbows on the table, Connor leaned forward. “No boundaries crossed?”

“ _No_.” Evan shifted to the edge of his seat to be sure he was heard. To be sure that Connor would believe him. “No, it’s--” He hunched his shoulders, speaking the rest to the table, “As long as you know I can’t...do what we did the other night here.”

Connor chuckled, and Evan caught a glimpse of his coffee being lifted. “Obviously. I’m not gonna make you roll over in front of everyone.” 

Evan’s face grew warm at the memory. 

“You’re different up there, aren’t you?” Confused by the question, he looked to Connor for clarification. The man continued, “Not as shy as you are around me. You didn’t stutter once. Not that I heard.”

Laughter squeezed out of Evan, surprised, though it probably sounded like he was wheezing. “Well, that’s-” He slicked his hair back with a sweaty palm. So much for Not Stuttering. “That’s rehearsed, kind of. You say the same thing so many times, it just becomes- natural.”

Connor nodded, but judging by his crooked smile, he wasn’t exactly convinced. That was- fine, Evan guessed. Maybe Connor believing he could be “different” wasn’t all that bad. Unless, of course, that idea secretly offended him. Would he think it meant he was uncomfortable around him?

“It’s not a bad thing,” Evan blurted. Connor blinked, unsuspecting. The boy abandoned his mug to flick and pick at his fingernails. “That I’m- the way that I am around you. You just- have that effect on me. And I don’t mind it. I like it.”

He heard Connor give a faint snort, echoed by the clink of his cup against the table. “Okay,” he said, sounding sympathetic, “It was supposed to be a compliment. I’m flattered, but you really don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

Evan’s face grew hot with embarrassment. He forced out another, weaker laugh. “If I don’t explain myself, you’ll never understand a damn thing I’m trying to say.”

“Bullshit.” When Evan looked up, Connor was rolling his eyes, his lips having curled with the word. “You-” He pointed right at the blond, then traced a line that covered the room. “Make more sense to me than any other chucklefuck in this joint.” 

“Oh, that’s- _very_ eloquent,” Evan said, not knowing how else to respond. 

“I’m serious.” Connor swigged his coffee like it was some bar drink. When he set it down again, he stared intently into what was left, fingers tapping stiffly across the ceramic. Then, he said, “I don’t get how they do it. You have a group of- what? Five people over there? Where the hell do you even get that many friends from? And listen- I’m pretty sure I can hear- three different conversations going on right now, and I don’t think they give a shit. I feel like I’m whispering.  Not to mention, the fact they all walked in and decided to stay even with the place filling up…” He trailed off, seeming- amazed? Baffled? Vulnerable? He crossed his arms and scanned the shop, slumping in his chair. “I can’t understand it.”

Evan didn’t really understand it either. Connor got it exactly right, voicing Evan’s own envy for other people’s ability to exist, but _how_?

“You,” the blonde attempted to phrase it as delicately as he could, “Invite strangers into your bed. You reveal everything without knowing them, and you get as close as two people can get without making promises to each other. How does anyone make sense of that?” 

Connor grinned, and Evan decided it wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. “What did you say about your job?” he asked, subdued and jaded, “It’s rehearsed?” 

Evan frowned. “I don’t see how you could rehearse that. Isn’t everyone- _different_?”

“To an extent.” Connor shrugged. “It’s the same as anything else. But instead of memorizing how to make a drink or which button to press on a register, you find patterns in what generally makes people feel good. The more you do it, the more confident you get.” He paused, though Evan could still see the wheels in his head turning. Soon enough - “But sure. Everyone’s different.” 

The blond nearly jumped out of his seat as he received a light, unexpected kick to his shin.

Connor’s expression softened. Apologetic, but affectionate. “Have to learn a whole new set of patterns for you.”

Evan believed he was different than Connor’s other partners - he had the collar to prove it - but it was nice to be reminded. Tapping the man’s leg with his foot, he muttered, “And somehow I’m the one that makes sense.”

Connor gave an affirming nod and corrected his posture. “ _So._ ” The lift prepared Evan for a change in subject. “On the topic of rehearsed lines-” Grey eyes squinted at him. “I don’t think I ever asked what your major was.”

Evan grinned, and maybe he was blushing again because How Cliche. He wore a collar with the man’s dorm number attached under his shirt, and _now_ he wanted to know his major. “Uhm- I’m in the Agriculture Program, actually.” 

Not many people knew what it was and judging by his raised brows, neither did Connor. “ _Agriculture, huh?_ ”

With the amount of times he’d explained the program, the speech was already formulated in his head. Evan educated him on the campus greenhouses, how most of their labs involving planting and soil-testing happened there. Then there were the community gardens, where they practiced in teams. There were trips to parks and farms, and the inevitable, what Evan most looked forward to, internships. At least that was the college’s term for it. Some people, evidently, thought they were too good to be called _farmhands_. But not Evan. He’d be proud when the time came to it.

He didn’t stutter, and he didn’t hesitate - and that usually meant he was rambling, leading people in his past to zone out, or glance at their phones or anything else halfway through. Connor held his gaze the entire time, his chin rested on his hand, his smile unwavering. Evan didn’t realize he’d been expecting that to change until he was done talking.

He settled back in his seat, but Connor remained attentive. “You’re going to be a farmer?” 

“That’s the goal.” 

“And what are you gonna farm?” 

The phrasing made Evan giggle, but Connor still seemed genuinely curious. “Uh-- anything? Whatever I can give?” The boy shrugged. “I’ve thought- Mostly crops. Maybe an orchard or vineyard? I would like to have a barn ‘cause, y’know, _animals, yay._ But also, I wouldn’t be able to hurt them, so it’d have to be a no-meat farm.”

Another affirmative nod from Connor. His eyes were practically twinkling, and he had this overall look about him that- made Evan want to pinch his cheeks, dang it. “I like the way you think.”

Evan thought, _I like the way you exist._

He was about to ask what Connor was majoring in when something grazed his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Veronica, utterly oblivious to the bubble she had burst. 

“I’m gonna start cleaning,” she told him, collecting both of their mugs, “If you could go around and take care of refills as soon as you come back, I would really appreciate it.”

“Oh..” Any enthusiasm was promptly sucked out of him. He had to force a smile after, praying she wouldn’t notice. “Uh, yeah, I can do that. Thank you, Ronnie.”

“Thanks, Ev.” Unfazed, she trotted away with a sophisticated sway. 

That left Evan to bury his head in his arms on the table, heaving a sigh.

“What’s the matter?” Connor asked.

“It’s stupid.” Evan huffed. “I _really_ don’t like refilling drinks. It should be easy, I know, but it’s like- _ugh-_ stage fright on top of making sure I don’t spill coffee everywhere on top of having to interrupt people, and I _know_ I’m overthinking it but…” But he was whining. He’d impressed Connor, maybe, but there he went ruining it. “Sorry. Can you- forget I said anything?”

There was another kick to his shin, but he barely flinched that time.

“Do you want help?”

Evan’s brows furrowed, and he lifted his head to find Connor’s expression turned serious. “No, you- it’s fine. If Veronica sees you trying to serve anyone, she’ll yell at me and kick you out-”

The man shook his head. “Not what I meant.” 

“Then...what?”

His stare lingered a second longer before he was reaching down to his feet, rummaging through the bag he’d brought in. “By _help_ ,” Connor said, “I mean something to _help you_ relax.”

 _Oh no, he’s one of Those Guys_. 

Evan’s DARE Officer had warned him the day would come.

_He’s going to offer me drugs._

He’d never do it, of course - he _couldn’t_ \- but for some reason, when Connor slid his fists across the table, Evan put his hands over, accepting the offer.

Except, when he brought the items into his lap for inspection, he didn’t find a pipe, or a vape pen, or a needle.

Connor had given him a vibrating butt plug. Plus a miniature bottle of lube. 

Evan’s eyes widened, and he stopped himself from throwing them back at the man. _“No!”_ he hissed, _“Are you kidding? That’ll make it worse!”_

“Think about it.” Connor’s voice was perfectly calm, and Evan swore he was biting back his smirk. “You’re- _looser_ in the heat of things. I can tell that once you give yourself up, you don’t worry as much. It’s not intense either. It’s just an incentive.”

Evan’s cheeks were burning. 

 _Bastard_.

Audibly, dramatically sighing, he shoved the items into his apron-pocket. His leg started shaking, and he covered half of his face with his hands. Glaring at Connor, Evan mumbled, “What if I can’t hold it? _In front of someone_? Connor, I’d _die._ ”

“Like I said,” the man stated, “It’s not that intense. And if you think you can’t hold it, take it out. That’s all.”

“ _That’s all,”_ Evan scoffed. 

Connor reached out to run his fingers through his hair; Evan stubbornly refused to lean into his touch. “And once I do have you alone,” the raven purred, “I’ll make sure it was all worth the trouble.”

The audacity of that man.

Assuming he’d have the chance to get Evan alone that night.

Using that tone and those touches on him in public.

The gall.

Leaving the bathroom, Evan contemplated spilling coffee in his lap when he passed by with the decanters. He decided against it. But only because he’d have to clean it up. And he wasn’t about to bend over tables or get on his knees to clean anything while a plug vibrated dully in his ass.

Shooting Connor a final glare, Evan found the man looking all too pleased with himself. He turned away in a huff, doing his best to focus his worries on not spilling coffee on anyone else instead.

Fortunately, half of the patrons had left by that point. Others were putting their coats on. It made him a little more eager to get it done and over with. 

He used the same line at every table he approached: “Hi, sorry, would you like a refill?” The first few rejected him, but that just made him hopeful. The less people he had to serve, the less his chances were of messing up. When someone eventually did say “Yes, thank you”, he was almost calm about it, able to keep a steady enough grip on the decanter. He filled others without issue too. 

Yes. He was calm because it no longer seemed as daunting, because he had a tendency to expect the worst case scenario. Absolutely, definitely, and not at all because he was, from head to toe, relaxed by a pleasant, incessant vibration between his legs.

Before long, Evan was returning the decanters to the coffee machine, Veronica was scrubbing away in the sink, and they were on their way to preparation for closing. Patrons continued to trickle out, and minutes later, Connor was the last one seated, occupied by his phone.

Evan was bagging unsold pastries to take home when Veronica brushed against him. “Is that your boyfriend?” she asked sweetly. Evan fumbled with a brownie.

“ _No_.” Since that _totally didn’t sound defensive_ , he added, “He’s just my friend. Why? Do _you_ want him?”

His co-worker laughed and stole a cookie from him. “Oh, no. My days with e-boys are over.”

“He- _He’s not an e-boy_.”

“Evan, c’mon. No man nowadays would have hair like that and wear that much black if he wasn’t an e-boy.”

Evan rolled his eyes at her, and she bumped their shoulders together before walking away to gather garbage bags. He closed the pastry display, intending to follow after her - 

He froze instead, his breath getting caught in his throat. Staying very still, Evan clenched his cheeks as his plug delivered a much more powerful vibration.

He took a careful side-step, hoping it would shift it to a different angle, if that was the problem.

No luck.

He tried walking in place, wondering if that could somehow counteract the sensation. 

It only made it worse.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Veronica, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

He barely made it around the counter when Connor called out to him. Looking his way, Evan found the man beckoning him over. “Can it, uhm- I’ll be right back, I need to-”

Connor shook his head, pointed directly at his table.

Evan groaned and dragged his feet over.

“Where were you going?” Connor asked like he already knew the answer.

Thighs rubbing impatiently together, Evan whimpered, “I can’t keep it in. O-Or I need to fix it..”

“Fix what?”

“The- position-?” Another spike in intensity. He bit his lip and gripped at the edge of the table for support. “It’s getting really strong! I’m scared it’ll be too much.” 

As soon as he said that, a miracle happened. The plug resumed a dull pulse, and Evan sighed in relief. “Oh my god..”

An impish grin plastered Connor’s face. “Better?”

Evan didn’t trust that, somehow. He knitted his brows at him, regarding him skeptically.

The raven put his phone down in front of him, revealing what he’d been so preoccupied with: the screen was pink, and at the bottom, there was a sparkling ball of light. At first, Evan didn’t understand what he was looking at - 

Until Connor put his finger above the ball, dragging it upward. 

The plug shook mercilessly inside of him, and Evan slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a moan. _Fuck_. It was just like the remote paired with the first vibrator. Connor was in control.

 _“Change it,”_ Evan begged, grabbing onto the man’s arm, his legs shaking. “K-Keep it low, but- _Connor…”_

Connor chuckled and obliged, bringing it to its original setting. 

Evan didn’t move though, instead struggling to compose himself. It was simply a means of delaying the inevitable. The damage had been done.

Evan was certifiably, irrevocably horny. 

Connor scanned every inch of him in his view before locking on pleading eyes. The boy wondered if he might whisper something lewd to him, or stand up for a kiss. He might’ve even been trying to hypnotize him so he’d lower his guard.

If that was the case, he nearly succeeded. Evan just about missed the hand attempting to lift up his apron. “ _What’re you doing?_ ”

“I’d like to know what I’m dealing with,” Connor said. 

_You have seen me naked!_

But rather than protest out loud, Evan bit his lip, glancing over his shoulder to watch out for Veronica while Connor’s hand glided up his thigh. His knees buckled as the man gave his bulge a gentle squeeze. 

“You’re hard.”

“No shit.”

Connor gripped him tighter, and Evan gasped, hips twitching. “Watch your mouth.”

The boy quickly nodded, and Connor released him. He stepped back as the raven grabbed his bag and stood up from his chair. “I’m going to wait in the bathroom,” he muttered right next to Evan’s bright red ear. “Find me once she leaves.”

The boy waited until his footsteps had faded, listening for the sound of the bathroom door, before turning around. There, he spotted Veronica, grinning at him from behind the counter.

“But he’s not your boyfriend, right?”

Evan’s mouth made the verbal equivalent of keyboard-smashing, and his co-worker laughed right at him. Fortunately, she didn’t force him to dwell on it. After counting the money from the register, Veronica threw the garbage bags over her shoulder like Santa Claus with his sack and wished him goodnight. Again, Evan thanked her for helping him last minute and followed her to the door. He told her he wanted to scrub the floor, at which she didn’t seem totally convinced but continued out anyway. One last wave, and he locked the door behind her.

Then, he quivered, sensing his plug shake slightly faster. Or maybe he was just noticing now that he was alone. He didn’t particularly want to be alone with that sort of problem either.

So Evan took a couple of deep breaths and made his way to the bathroom. 

He knocked before peeking inside. Leaning on the wall directly across from him was Connor, unsurprisingly on his phone. The moment his hooded, grey eyes lifted to Evan’s, the moment the plug increased intensity. 

The boy held onto the door for support, a whimper slipping past his lips. “You’re so mean.”

“You don’t mean that.” Discarding his phone to his pocket, Connor closed the distance between them and guided the boy into the room, holding him steady in his arms.

“Mhm. I do,” Evan whined, latching onto his shirt and burying his face in his chest. “Y-You’re an awful tease. That could’ve been so bad...”

“But it wasn’t, was it?” Connor hummed, combing his fingers through Evan’s hair. “You got through it so well, without making a perfect mess of yourself. And now, you know what?” He nipped at his ear and breathed hot against it. “You can make as much of a mess as you want.”

He couldn’t take the teasing anymore. Eyes shut, Evan threw his arms around Connor’s neck and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. The man was shamelessly receptive, shoving his tongue into Evan’s mouth, groping every part of him that he could get his hands on - making him feel wonderful. 

When two firm hands smacked his ass, Evan moaned into the kiss, feeling the plug that much deeper. 

“You have such a nice fucking body,” Connor growled, continuing to squeeze and knead him. 

“You’re just saying that.” The comment came without thought. Honest and instinctive. 

But the next thing Evan knew, he was being spun around, his back to Connor’s chest. Blinking, he saw their reflections in the mirror. 

“You need proof?” 

His mouth hung open as Connor tore his apron away, and he squirmed when he began unbuttoning his shirt immediately after. _“Connor-”_

The man ignored him. His strong body kept him in place, and Evan, for the very least, tried to look away from the mirror - 

before Connor rested his chin on his shoulder, preventing him. 

 _“No, I--”_ He swallowed a lump forming in his throat. “Don’t- want to--”

Connor paused, his fingers frozen on the last button. “You really think I’m lying?”

Evan turned his head as far away from him as he could. “Not- _lying_ …” Though, he didn’t know how else to phrase it. He didn’t think Connor was saying it to deceive him - more like he had the tendency to kid himself in the heat of things. 

The man waited patiently for an answer but sighed when he realized there wouldn’t be one. “Why don’t you want to look?” He sounded so concerned.

 _“Because-”_ Evan tried steadying his breath, tried to find some clarity in his mind amid all the stimulation. He hugged himself, not to feel so exposed. “Because I know I’m fat and not super sexy.” His voice gave out on him anyway, nearly cracking. “I don’t need to be reminded.”

Connor’s hands moved carefully to his hips. His lips pressed softly against Evan’s cheek, giving chaste kisses here and there. “You ever hear that saying?” he whispered, “‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’?”

Evan scoffed but let himself relax into Connor’s chest. He still felt safe there.

“I know I can’t make you be your type,” Connor went on, “But I can guarantee you’re exactly what I want.” 

Well, Evan had to crack a tiny smile at that. But only because of how cheesy it sounded. Hesitating, he faced Connor once again, and they looked deep into each other’s eyes.

“Truthfully? I don’t even think you’re as big as you think you are. Sure, you’ve got some meat on your bones-” Connor squeezed the boy’s belly, eliciting a squeak. “But so do all prized bucks.”

“ _Stooop_ \- That feels weird!” Of course, despite Evan's whining, there was laughter bubbling through the cracks. 

Connor chuckled and nipped playfully at his neck, merely rubbing his stomach instead. “You’re soft,” he murmured, then wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist. “Huggable.” He squeezed his sides. “Sturdy- _so I don’t have to worry about breaking you_ -”

Evan snorted, elbowing the raven in his stomach. “Okay, okay…”

“I find you _very_ desirable.” Connor finally took apart the last button on Evan’s shirt and carded the fabric through his fingers. Together, they returned their attention to the mirror. “I’d like to show you what I see.” 

Evan considered it for a moment. Where it would lead. The fact he could always close his eyes if he didn’t like what he saw. 

He took a breath and nodded.

Seconds later, his shirt was on the floor, and Connor was running his fingers over the collar he’d kept hidden underneath. “Were you planning on seeing me tonight?”

“No, sir.”

“And you wore it anyway?”

Evan sank further against him, stealing a kiss on the man’s jaw. “In case I got lost.”

Expression radiant with adoration, Connor captured his lips, kissing him slow and tender. That made Evan feel the prettiest.

His pants fell to the floor next, followed by his boxers, then Connor’s coat and shirt. 

Evan was gently pushed forward, and he held onto the sink for balance. He still tried looking over his shoulder at Connor for as long as it was comfortable, watching as the man pulled out his plug. “ _Fuck…”_

“There’s plenty more where that came from.” Like a promise, Connor unzipped his pants, and Evan shivered as his cock rested between his cheeks. 

But there was only so much time to appreciate it. Some careful grinding against him, and Connor pulled away, rummaging for lube and a condom. 

It was worth it, though. Not a minute later, and Evan tensed, feeling the man’s tip prod his rim. A hand tangled in his hair, gentle but forceful enough to pull him toward his reflection again. 

_“Watch.”_

Evan squirmed out of habit, but even he knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Connor eased in, and he tightened his grip on the sink, powerless to do anything but watch his eyes go wide and crossed, his mouth agape.

It was the single, most embarrassing thing he’d ever seen. And he couldn’t look away.

Connor sheathed himself completely, and Evan’s breath caught in his throat. It only came out with a moan when the man started thrusting. “Th-Thank you…”

God, he looked pathetic. Bent over in a bathroom. Wearing nothing but a collar. Red from his neck to his ears. His pupils blown. Tongue hanging out as he panted for air. Glancing to the side, he caught a glimpse of his stomach jiggling, a sight that almost made his skin crawl until it was stopped by Connor’s powerful hands making a grab for his waist. And then he didn’t mind. It was fine to look pathetic, he decided. At least when he had that Adonis of a man looming over him, taking him, worshiping his body.

"This," Evan mewled, attempting to bounce against Connor's hips. "Would be really good with the leash-"

 

...

 

_'And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear._

_Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?'_

The line stood out to him as he inspected a tranquil face, vulnerable yet trusting.

Evan had a feeling that if Connor was awake, he would change the radio station the instant he heard Miss Taylor Swift. He stifled his laughter as he imagined the man groggy and grumbling, crawling to the front seat to do so. It'd have to be something rebellious or rock n' roll, he'd bet. No less for the big, tough e-boy.

_Thanks for that, Veronica._

Rolling his eyes, Evan took the hands he'd been holding and placed a kiss on every finger. Connor's hands were notably bigger than his own. And much more masculine, he'd admit. But Evan had to admire them for how gentle they were. How the majority of his pleasure and comfort could be traced to chiselled angles and prominent veins.

He lifted Connor's right palm and made it flat, as if he could find the source of his magic touch at the center.

Instead, Evan's heart sunk at what he found.

Out of morbid curiosity, he grabbed the raven's left hand, turning it over to examine his wrist.

_Oh._

_Oh no._

"Oh, Connor..."

He didn't know what to make of it. Of the many scars on his wrists. How old were they? Had he known Evan yet?

Was there anything Evan could have said or done to stop him?

He fixed the blanket around Connor so he was all swaddled up. The blanket the man had left in his car in case they decided to relive Halloween. Now instead, it was simply the aftercare travel blanket.

And Connor, Evan realized, needed much more care than he let on.


End file.
